Food Suicide and The Cure

I haven't posted in months because I didn't want to report my ongoing failure, or worse, my ongoing lack of commitment. But here I am, letting you know I'm still alive and struggling forward. Struggling counts, because at least it's still trying. So here goes, a little note I posted in my Facebook page: 

I have insulin resistance, which means my fat cells are too fat to metabolize normal levels of insulin. My tired little pancreas has to pump out more insulin to get past the resistance. I get dizzy, weak and very sleepy as my blood-glucose continues to rise. Then my fat fat cells' flood gates open and slurp up all the crazy amounts of insulin, causing a necessary but sharp drop in blood sugar. I bottom out, suddenly starved to death (I must eat immediately at that point!) and feel much more alert, but start to get the dizzy shakes from needing to eat. Once I eat something (anything!), I start to feel better. Then the cycle starts all over again.

The so-called Wake-Up-Call pic...

I've failed in the struggle so often without proper health-risk motivation. Now that diabetes is looming and I've hit the over 300lb mark again (yeah, I just admitted that on the Internet), I still haven't figured out the "magic" combination of willpower, food, and support. I've beaten myself up often enough to be wary of proclaiming my next-big-plan to succeed. I've also had enough mini-successes in the mix to know what that feels like, too. And I've lost weight on some amazing recipes I created! (I even did a chronicle of the successes and failures... and recipes. Have a look and eat VERY well-- http://tamarahensonshealthoverhaul.blogspot.com/ )

Mmmmm....

But I inevitably aim the wrong food at my face and pull the trigger. The various reasons don't matter. 

The solution to my problem is simple. To fix my insulin resistance, I must make myself un-fat.

From my past experiences, I must also do this alone. I have let down the other person who already had some success on her diet, by failing in my attempt. I have been influenced by others' lack of focus. I have a thin husband who refuses to live on my health food, and rightfully so. I have many acquaintances who are on-again, off-again dieters. And I would be the only local person I know and like who is actively trying to improve my health. Which means I would have to actively refuse some aspects of my limited social time (eating junk), which usually makes it awkward for my non-dieting friends. I have expenses which make it difficult to consistently keep healthful food in my house. I have many pulls on my time that keep me from it.

However, I know what works in me to make this happen. I know what doesn't work. So I need to do what works, avoid what doesn't, and put my nose to the grindstone and stop listening to those who would intentionally or unintentionally sabotage me. 

For those who are in a similar situation, please tell me... What has worked for you?

Insulin Resistant: Gonna lose 106 pounds! Only 99 pounds left to go! :)

I posted this on Reddit after 13 days on low-carb Induction. Reposting here to keep from repeating myself too much:

"F/30/6' | SW: 306.4 | CW: 299.0 | GW: 200

Doc says it's insulin resistance/ prediabetes. He said "I'll prescribe you a pill." I said, "No you won't. I'll do this without meds." He said, "Then lose 100 pounds." I said, "Touche, Doc. Touche."

He also said to get on a low carb diet, which I already expected. I've lost 30 or so pounds with keto before and failed for stupid reasons. But I'm lucky this time: I'm pre-sick, and I'm not officially dying yet. Nothing like a medical reason to keep up the resolve!

The funny thing? I'm on day 13 of Induction and haven't cheated once! No cravings, no desire to eat bad things. I've been dragging my butt out of bed early to cook. I've eaten at restaurants within my limits. I guess the motivation is finally stemming from something beyond vanity. Not being pinned down by medication is great motivation! Not dying is even better!"

Support is pretty strong in the /keto and /loseit forums on Reddit.com. But like any place, there're trolls and douche bags. Haven't sold any of my creative things through Reddit, but I'll continue posting my health progress there. Maybe I'll inspire someone like they're inspiring me!

I bought salmon again! Two weeks in, I'm needing some variety. And 3lb bags of the frozen stuff was BACK at Kroger. Also stocked up on other low-carb things. Did feel a bit claustrophobic in the candy and bread and ice cream aisles, but made it through without a breakdown. I bought a small, already-roasted chicken instead. 

I feel pretty darn good, physically speaking! I'm eating low-carb and about a half or more of the meat I eat is also low fat. I'm incorporating vegetables in everything. I'm drinking nothing but water and "sweet" tea made with Splenda. I'm taking vitamins daily: probiotic, garlic, cinnamon, B complex, an Omega fatty acid combo, and...something else... in addition to my multivitamin. My blood sugar has neither bottomed out nor skyrocketed since my doctor visit. And I'm in ketosis, which was an accident related to my 1 meal with carbs per day the doctor ordered. But I'm rolling with it. As long as I drink plenty of water, I'll be fine. 

I'll be combining low carb AND low fat more strategically once I've finished reading my South Beach Supercharged book. Don't know how that'll work, since Doc told me it was okay (as in-- DO IT!!) to get my carbs from mostly non-starchy veggies. But I can use some principles from the book, I'm sure. Plus, my friend Angela is on South Beach again! So I have a consistent diet-buddy!

Cuddles,

Tamara

Now: Pre-Diabetes!

I'm pre-diabetic, that is to say, I have "Insulin Resistance Syndrome." And Doc says I have 100 pounds to lose, or I'll be Type II Diabetic within a year. So I told him I don't want any of his pre-diabetes meds, and I'm doing this without them. So he told ME to get my butt on a low carb diet (only 1 daily meal with non-veggie carbs) and to do aerobic exercise 3X a week, in addition to daily strength training. And if I don't make big improvements within 5 months, I'd be on the meds. So I told him... ok. I know I've done this dieting thing before, but this time it's scary, with worse consequences. So here I go again, on my own. :D


I've also gained weight. I'm at 306.4-ish pounds, with a BMI of 41. 


Now, whether I can actually swing this dieting thing, I don't know. But I'd rather not be sicker. We'll see.

295.6

295.6 lb. I hit that number today. After my last whine-fest on here, it was clear to me that I wasn't even trying anymore. (Or just discouraged or something. Dunno.) I updated that post and also provide this new one.


Today is Day 1 of the Tamara Coffey "The Scale says WHAT?! If it's not lying, I must be slowly dying!" health improvement venture. Not Atkins, per se. Just cutting out processed sugars and other simple carbs. You will not hear about my daily or weekly progress after Week 2. You will only hear about certain breakthroughs. Promise!

Please encourage the Tama with "Atta-girls" and "You can do its!" Please do NOT feed the Tama! (Unless it is un-breaded meat, non-starchy vegetables, real fats or REALLY dark chocolate! The four food groups, right?)

Cuddles,
Tamara

What's wrong with me???

I neglected this blog for weeks so I could finish my novel and get it published. I have also eaten nothing but fast food and convenience foods since my last post. As a result, I've hit my highest weight in recent history: 287.0 lb. I don't consider myself a food addict. When I'm project-focused, I'm just a convenience addict.

What a waste of all my effort for an entire year! To be this fat again really irks me. It was preventable. Something had to slide to make time for the novel, but not slide THIS MUCH! I could cite reasons and excuses, but I'm not a big fan of either. Besides, they're all based on what I did or didn't do: I was lazy. I was unfocused. I went through the drive-thru rather than cooking at home. I could also blame others, but that's silly: I don't have anyone to support me. I have no one invested in diet and exercise with me, really, consistently. It's silly because health improvement pacts at work are passing whims. Sad, pathetic promises we all sweep under the rug when our fragile willpower caves to a candy-bar. So what if no one I know wants to dedicate themselves to being healthier? They must have better things to do. I'll not blame them for my failure.

The gloves are off. I'm done. I'm killing myself with food. This is suicide. I either need to stop and get healthier, or give up and die my early death with a plate piled high with junk-food and medications to counteract that junk-food's effect on my bloated, miserable body.

You know what works? Effort. Honest-to-goodness effort to make something happen. Don't pray to win the lottery if you're not willing to buy a ticket. So when I've put in effort, when I've made actual progress, I'll post again. Until then, I won't waste your time with my failures.

UPDATE: What a whiny, emo spiel! Let's see... Translation: "I got lazy and unmotivated. I acknowledge I am on my own and must improve my health. I'll try harder, putting my effort into worthy pursuits, and only update following my next breakthrough." There. Less annoying! LOL

Cuddles,
Tamara

Week 8: The Carb Trap 2

As I mentioned in my last post, I've fallen into the carb trap this week. And as I predicted, I DID gain back all the water weight from week 7. And as I assumed, I've taken a morale hit from said weight gain. AND as I know myself, this will not be the last time I mess up a diet. I mean a lifelong eating adjustment. But I'm trying diligently to climb back up in the saddle and ride off on the dusty, lonely trail of dieting in the household of a skinny hubby.

Weight last week: 271.8 (ish)

Weight this week: 279.8

GAIN of 8 lb. 

I feel like the Stay-Puft Marshmallow Man today. That is all! :)

Cuddles,

Tamara

PROGRESS: Week 7, Hello Ketosis!

The Franken-Diet is what I call the Frankenstein's monster of diet parts and pieces that work for me. 

Now I'm in the low carb stage of the Franken-Diet. Ketones are the byproducts released as the body burns primarily fat instead of carbohydrates. The ketones are purged through urine, saliva, and probably through every other gland. Testing high for ketosis is bad if you're not trying to make it happen through dieting. But I'm trying...

I'm testing Moderate for ketosis, finally. For the first week or two of low-carb eating (via Atkins Induction), I purge water weight rapidly, due to the diuretic effect of ketosis. After that, weight loss slows to a normal, "healthy" rate as I increase my carb intake by measured increments. This initial stage of the diet fools the body into thinking it's starving (no/low carbs= starving) even though you're cramming food into it (mostly protein). As a results, hunger is suppressed. Blood sugar is incredibly stable. My stomach is nice and calm. The food is rich and satisfying. The cravings and food addictions subside. And your body is forced to mobilize fat because you're not giving it any carbs!

Go to the official Atkins site for more information: http://www.atkins.com/Program/Phase-1.aspx . 

Weight 2 Weeks Ago: 277.2

Weight 1 Week Ago: 280 (From the "Crap, I didn't lose weight because I didn't focus" files!)

Weight This Week: 271.8

8.2 Pounds Lost!

Now, don't get me wrong. I'm not suggesting a wonder diet. The science behind low-carb is sound. I also eat more naturally on this diet than any other. (Seriously-- God may have made sugar, but He only facilitated the production of Twinkies with that creation...) This is only a "diet" if you have no intention of changing your habits for the long term. The Lifetime Maintenance on Atkins is full of vegetables, occasional fruit, and some dairy. And regardless of the avoidable minor inconveniences, I'm going on how I feel, which is awesome!

Good Things That I Ate:

1. Breakfast: Eggs with Bacon Pieces. A bit of Mexene Chili Powder (my favorite egg-topper!)

2. Lunch: Lean Hamburgers with Mayo and Ketchup

3. Alternate Lunch: Chicken Salad (made with canned chicken breast, dill relish and mayo)

4. Dinners: 20 Carb Avocado Salad, Plain Salad with Ranch (bleh!), 20 Carb Taco Salad, McD's side salad with 2 Chicken Grill Patties and Ranch, 

20 Carb Taco Salad

Easy Recipe: Prepare taco meat using lean ground beef (or what-have-you) and serve with fresh spinach, chopped onions, sour cream, a drizzle of taco sauce, and a sprinkle of Parmesan cheese!

20 Carb Guacamole Salad

Easy Recipe 2: Prepare guacamole by mashing a ripe avocado and either 1) adding lime juice, cilantro, onion powder and garlic powder OR 2) using half a pack of prepared guac seasoning (has more carbs). Then serve over spinach with sour cream (didn't like this in the salad), bacon pieces, Parmesan cheese and some pepperoni slices.

Low Carb Snacks:

1. Mac's BBQ Pork Rinds (like no other! *sigh*)

2. Portioned beef jerky

3. Cream cheese (sometimes WITH the pork rinds. Don't knock it til you tried it!)

4. An occasional spoonful of peanut butter (I think I had one all week)

Here Are Some Things I Did:

1. Saved almost all of my allotted carbohydrates (20g/day) for dinner. I will continue to do this because if I veer off the all-protein path during the day, I'll screw up at night. It feels like splurging when I wait! And for each of these "splurge" dinners, I ate a SALAD!

2. Measured and counted everything with carbs! Grippo's Powder is now on my list of no-nos. It has 4 carbs in just one teaspoon. So I made a couple mistakes early in the week. 

3. I had an avocado a day for over half the week. 15 carbs, well worth the scrounging and saving of carb grams. Oh, and something about Omega something-something good for me...

4. Did at least one full day of burnout sessions with the exercise bands at work. I did a different routine between each call until I was a tired little puddle. I spent about 5 hours (minus call time) playing with those rubber bands, not realizing how sore I would be today! I shall call it Chair-Fu Calisthenics and Rubber-Band Boxing!

And I'm trying to do more of the same for this upcoming week! I just realized I can make my baked salmon and avocado recipe! Mmmmmmm....

Cuddles,

Tamara

FEATURED: Donna's Path

Meet my coworker Donna. She's a real sweetheart who gave her permission for me to do an ongoing feature on her in Tamara Henson's Health Overhaul. I have permission to display, GASP, her REAL WEIGHT!!! I'll give updates on her progress periodically.

You see, I've suckered her into getting healthy with me, following my very simple plan. Now, I'm not a doctor and she knows it. :D But she can't deny that the simple mishmash known as the Franken-Diet will at least be easy to follow, if a challenge to continue. We suffer from the same pitfalls of cravings, so I really understand where she's coming from. So here's my interview with her, to get us started:

1. What health problems do you have?

"Asthma & Bronchitis, Bulging disc and arthritis in my spine due to a fall in 2008"

2. Why do you want to lose weight?

"To better my health and and view of myself. To make a better me!"

3. What is your food poison?

"Chocolate!" (Yeah, Donna. Me too!)

4. What are your current eating habits?

"1-2 times a day, whatever I want" Includes regular Mountain Dew, various sugary snacks, highly processed  convenience foods, fast food, and the candies!

DONNA'S HEALTH PROFILE:

Height: 5'6"
Age: 33
Highest weight: 357 pounds
Current Weight: 357 pounds

GOAL 1: 300lb (Timeframe, unknown)
GOAL 2: 275lb (25 pound mini-increments)

ULTIMATE GOAL: 200lb

PROCESS: Donna begins her diet today, using my Simply Filling Power Foods list and also my recipes.

This is what I told her:

"1. Eat whenever you're hungry, as often as necessary, for these first few days
2. Eat as much of the approved foods as you want until you're no longer hungry
3. Eat at LEAST 3 times a day, whether your meals are small or large. Or two meals and a snack. Every time you put Power Foods in your mouth, you rev up your metabolism.
4. Measure servings of everything, even if you eat multiple portions!

Because you're used to high calories in smaller meals, you'll want to eat more low-calorie foods to make up for it, so you don't get faint and end up sick from changing your eating habits too quickly."

I'm excited for Donna!

If you want a feature on my blog, and you're ready to do your own Health Overhaul, copy and answer all the questions and profile items and send them to tamaravmhenson (at) gmail (dot) com. Attach a photo, if I don't already know you through Facebook (where I can snatch my own pic). And if you freak out about the world knowing your weight, just enter pounds you want to lose! :)

Cuddles,

Tamara

PROGRESS: Week 5

Holiday damages aside, I honestly didn't get focused well enough to do the diet all that well this week. Candies finally dwindled to nothing. Other junk foods did the same. Restaurant food was eaten once or twice. Hot chocolate sustained me during my cold (which is also dwindling, but still present). Hot Chicken and Pasta sustained me at lunch. And sometimes at dinner. I even had a couple caffeine-free regular Pepsis. So I expected my weight to go up, not down. I did the weigh-over I usually reserve for when I think I should weigh LESS! :) And the third weigh-over of relative confusion...

Weight Last Week: 279.4
Weight This Week: 277.2

That's 2.2 pounds lost. I'll take it, and actually update the ticker so it'll be accurate.

Good Things I Ate This Week:

1. Chicken and Pasta
2. Baked potatoes with fat free sour cream

Here Are Some Things I Did:

1. Prepared the soup ahead of time
2. Baked stuffed peppers last night
3. Dutifully ate oatmeal, cinnamon and Sweet N Low for breakfast this morning
4. Otherwise, not much!

Things I Plan To Change This Week:

1. Decided that oatmeal is kinda unappetizing to me. Will probably eat some type of protein for breakfast instead.
2. WW Simply Filling is the focus of this week. I can't cheat if I don't have the food in the house to do so.

UPDATE: I entered my original weight of 300lb to be more accurate with total weight lost (not just weight lost since the blog started). And I entered my current weight for today. And I didn't cry. But here's the chart:



WHERE I'M HEADING WITH THIS:

I want to stick with Simply Filling for a month and see how much progress I make versus days on and days off. I then want to transition to an Atkins-style WW diet, incorporating my Simply Filling food list only and eating lean proteins and vegetables until I'm close to my goal weight. (Incorporation of several diets, hence "Franken-Diet") Then I want to transition again into a lifelong healthy eating habit as I shed the last few pounds. I expect my food list at that time to be the WW Simply Filling list I compiled, with perhaps pure fats and cheeses in moderation instead of unlimited fat free. That way, I'm eating mostly all natural foods that I could grow or produce on a farm. :)

I don't know how long this is going to take. I've piddled with it for a year, never really locking in a routine, even when the routine worked in the short term. So I'm going to say that in 5 months of diligence, I should be close. I'll gauge it again in a month. I don't want to wait another year to finish my health overhaul!

Cuddles,

Tamara

HOLIDAY DAMAGES: Week 4

A little late on this week's post. Today, I woke up with a cold, and feel bad, so you get the short, short version.

I weigh 279.4 today. Up about 6 pounds. Probably half water-weight, half new lard. :)

I ate sooo many good things that were bad for me. So many chocolate and peanut butter candies of different types! I did eat in moderation until the three day span of Christmas Eve, Day, and Day after, when I ate, ummm, heartily. The eating tapered off in the days hence, as the leftovers ran out.

Sick of junk food and holiday food. Making Power Foods meals for the rest of the week and beyond.

And here I am, eating chicken noodle soup. Sore throat. Runny nose. Lost voice. Hoping to feel like making some feel-good chicken and noodles later, as well as some salsa chicken with refried beans, rice and sour cream.

Cuddles,

Tamara

PROGRESS: Week 3, 100th Post!

Today I celebrate my 100th post with some positive progress and a little story about The Scale and I! Considering this is the week before Christmas and I've been making candy like crazy-- and only sampling tiny amounts-- it's a miracle I've gotten anywhere with it! But the period of time I'm calling "damage control" has yielded results:

Weight Last Week: 275.2
Weight This Week: 273.4

That's a difference of 1.8 pounds! With eating some of the candies for the babies of the peoples!

Good things I ate this week:

1. More turkey thin-bread sandwiches for lunch. Now I'm out of the bread, so I won't buy more.

2. Baked salmon for lunch once, breakfast a couple or three times. (Because the stink of it heating up for lunch that one time may have killed a few coworkers! :D So I made different lunches to replace those.) Pure protein goodness!

3. Power Foods Texas Hash from my recipes. With refried beans and melted Pepperjack cheese.

4. Stuffed peppers: cleared out my stock of frozen peppers so I didn't have to cook. Now will have to cook!

5. String cheese as snacks at work

6. A couple days of oatmeal with Sweet N Low and cinnamon. Meh. :)

Here are some things I did:


1. Avoided added salt.

2. Cooked Texas Hash and Salmon in advance.

3. Made sandwiches fresh each morning.

4. Measured portions for almost everything!

5. Snacked on candies in EXTREME moderation!

6. Kept busy with work or cleaning or creative pursuits. No time to idly eat!

Here are some things I plan to change this week:


1. Eat Christmas food on the day before, day of and day after, but not beyond. (No infinite leftovers!)

2. Pay more attention to the "full" feeling. Cut regular portion sizes accordingly.

3. A few rounds with an exercise video or two. Helps with health AND stress!

THE SCALE AND I-- TAMA SAYS:

Back in the day, in fifth grade, the teacher did weigh-ins in front of class. Not officially public, but may as well have been. My number (on the first digital scale I ever remember seeing) was 188. I looked at her and her assistant. They looked at me. Some kids snickered. Forget the fact that I was the tallest, strongest kid in class, an Amazon in comparison to the little boys. That was the first time I saw my weight as a health problem.

Sure, I got picked on before that day for being the poor kid, the smart kid, the shy kid, the tall kid AND the fat kid in class. But Mamaw always told me, "It's just baby fat. You'll grow up and it'll all be gone." In almost the same breath she'd comment on how so-and-so was "as big as you are, Tamara!" or "even bigger than you!" (A practice she continued-- among other unsavory ones-- until I just vacated her presence a couple years ago. Permanently. With little regret. And only the briefest meetings since.)

Regardless of the other things she said which I knew were instigating crap, I was gullible. I believed that bit about baby fat until I saw 188 on the scale. Then the struggle started. But when you're not paying the bills, you eat what you're given, which was sufficient. I hit a growth spurt after this, too. I outgrew my long hair, which "shrank" from my hips up to my bra strap. Big Macs went on sale around that time. I'd eat two in a sitting, with fries and a shake. I can't do that now! But I was literally a growing young girl.

By eight grade, I was fatter, but the weight was stretched out on a longer frame (I ended up at 6ft eventually). After a few diets-- the Grapefruit diet (blech!) and Atkins, to name a couple-- I was still overweight. Going into high school, I weighed 212 pounds. Going into college, I weighed 223-ish. (I didn't gain the Freshman 15 because I walked everywhere. I may have lost weight...) Coming out of 5 years on my butt in customer service, I weighed 275. And coming out of my one and only year of full time teaching, during which I was sick for most of it, I weighed 300 pounds. And by the time I started this blog... ummm Monday, December 27, 2010, to be exact... I was fully unemployed for the first time in my adult life and down to 291 lb. And I was finally ready to take control of at least one area of my crumbly future: my weight!

I get different comments now when people ask my weight. "You don't look like you weigh that much." "You carry it well." I don't mind these as much. And if people know you're on a diet, they'll comment on how much weight you've lost. :) Even when you haven't. It's an attempt at encouragement that I would never discourage. Most people KNOW how hard it is to lose weight.

I can't see a weight change yet. Even in ten pounds, I may not notice. But I finally remembered why owning a digital scale made me feel a grain of hesitation, why it was so ingrained in me to buy one. A digital scale is where it all started-- the downfall and the climb back up. The number 188. I think I'll set that as Major Goal Number 2 when I knock off this 100 pounds. If I do that, I'll have come full circle. :)

PROGRESS: Week 2

PROGRESS AND NUMBERS: 

I skipped out on that doctor consultation today. Sleep has been too rare, almost as rare as my desire to pay the guy a copay to tell me what I already knew. :)

So I did my own weigh-in today. I'm at 275.2 lb today, which means it's holding steady, and that's just fine by me for this week. I checked my blood pressure the other day, and all numbers were within healthy ranges. I even got a 70-something on my diastolic number (if that's the bottom one).  

I didn't lose weight this week, probably because of my little novel-finishing celebration of Wendy's chili, a garden salad... and a small chocolate Frosty! I've also eaten chocolate every day this week, and one Arby's breakfast involving ice water, tater-hash-brown things, and a MUCH larger breakfast wrap than I expected (two servings-- breakfast and breaktime!). I also made Chicken and Dumplings for Brandon (clearly not permitted as Power Foods) and ate that for dinner for a couple days. Add a McDouble dressed like a Mac and a McChicken, plus one large sweet tea at some point, and that just about rounds out my week!

UPDATE PIC: My Celebration Meal

Here are some good things I ate this week:

UPDATE PIC: Those weird sandwiches. I ate two. I was really hungry!

1. Lunch at Work: Teriyaki Chicken (just add soy, teriyaki, and sesame seeds to chicken breast cooked in sesame oil) and Chicken Parmesan (I just made the stuffing for my Chicken Parmesan Peppers). Less than one and a half cups per serving. Three pounds of chicken spread over five servings. Around 6 bucks. 

2. Snacks at work: Materne GoGoSqueez AppleCinnamon Applesauce, to which I am addicted but intentionally ran out. And light string cheese sticks. Mmmm...

3. Fat Free deli Turkey on low-fat, thin wheat sandwich rounds. Added some thinly sliced pepperjack cheese, onion, and lite mayo.

4. A baked potato with fat-free cream cheese, lite butter spray (blech!), and Grippo's powder spice, AKA ambrosia of the gods.

5. Fat free milk over Kashi GoLean Crunch, of which I have no more.

Here are some things I did:

1. Exercise bands at work, between calls, a couple days.

2. Avoided salt, except for a few pickle slices and olives. And the Grippo's powder.

3. Cooked and prepared all lunches from work in advance for the entire week.

Here are some things I plan to change this week:

1. Eat oatmeal with Sweet-N-Low and cinnamon instead of the Kashi cereal. Even if I do a double helping, it'll cut my breakfast calories and carbs significantly.

2. Polish off those last four sandwich rounds, and probably not get more! :D

3. Keep string cheese as a snack; avoid buying the crack known as GoGoSqueez applesauce! 

In doing the above, I'm cutting sugary carbs and upping protein. I didn't have much of a problem with low blood sugar like last week, so it's time to start reducing my carb intake as well. 

THE SECRET:

After acknowledging the many ironies in my life here, http://tamarahensonstudios.blogspot.com/2011/12/180-degrees.html, I realized that I've finally developed the right mentality for becoming a healthier person. The big secret? I have promised myself to try AND do. Trying doesn't get you anywhere unless accomplishing follows. Or as Yoda says, "Do or do not, there is no try!" So what do I do when I have a snack or off-plan meal? I just barrel ahead, forgetting my failures and picking up where I left off at the next meal or snack. Obvious, right? But it's not always been easy for me. But here's why it BECAME easy:

If the Almighty Creator God of the entire universe can forgive me and erase my many sins from the face of all existence, then I must 1) forgive myself a slip up AND 2) try not to make it worse. In all areas, including my Health Overhaul. That's it! It got personal and spiritual. Letting go of the do-it-all attitude is hard to do. But I'm practicing not drowning, one meal at a time!

Cuddles,

Tamara

PROGRESS: A New Week 1

Last time, I said that I'd just restart my weeks-counting, since I'm technically rebooting my program this week anyway. So here goes: I'll just post new progress posts under shiny new week headings... again! At first I was discouraged with having to do a new start. Then a good, cuddly friend of mine reminded me that it's not going under water that drowns you, it's STAYING under water. So as long as I keep resurfacing, I'm okay! :)

Now, the progress part: 

I had a routine exam today, and I'll have the doctor consultation/progress check next week.

NUMBERS LAST WEEK:

Blood Pressure: 139/106 

Heart Rate: 81 bpm

In-Office Weight: 284.4

At-Home Weight: 280

NUMBERS THIS WEEK: 

Blood Pressure: 139/90 (Down more, but not enough yet)

Heart Rate: 71 bpm (Pretty good)

In-Office Weight: 279.2

At-Home Weight: 275 point something

RESULTS:

BP and Heart Rate are lower, which is good. No wrath-of-the-nurse fell upon my head!

I've lost 4-ish pounds in a week, which is good for my morale.

WHAT I DID ALL WEEK:

1. Stuck close to the Simply Filling program. My previous post's peppers have served me well as lunch at work! I ate a boiled egg with some salt for my first break, and my Materne GoGoSqueez Apple Sauce with Cinnamon on 2nd break, cuz I'm a big kid now. :D My blood sugar bottomed out the first couple days at work because I guess I cut out too much too quickly, so I dosed with Cheez-its and extra applesauce until I felt better. I also bought low-fat thin-buns that are whole wheat as vehicles for my fat-free deli meats. 

2. Deviated intelligently, when possible. I ate some chocolate every day. Plus Cheez-its. I ate Wendy's chili on a garden salad with a baked chive-and-sour-cream potato. All but the chili is "allowed". After the blood sugar drop, I picked up some Kashi Go Lean Crunch to replace my leftover Crunch Berries. 

3. Focused on lean protein, fat-free dairy, some veggies and some fruit. Didn't do the full-on veggie bake side dish to go with my peppers at work. 

4. Measured portions with actual measuring utensils. Or used pre-measured portions (like the applesauce). No eyeballin' here! Moderation only works for me when I just don't put it on my plate!

5. Light exercise. I took my exercise bands to work and got in some light stretching and strength training to all my major muscle groups over the course of 2 hours or so-- in between calls-- the first day! :) I noticed a mood improvement. I was calmer, less antsy, more relaxed and less easily irritated. I wasn't as likely to yawn, either. I felt more alert. The second day, I did my short 15lb weights routine on my arms, chest, back and legs before work, and some abs/cardio with the bands at work. (Hey! I was by myself, and it was kinda slow going! I had to amuse myself...) Chair exercises are comical, but they get the job done!

6. Used very little salt and paid attention to when my blood pressure spiked. (At work, stressful callers, annoying coworker habits, etc.) And then I tried to calm it down instead of let it fester. Deep breathing and such!

7. Drank tons of water, while at work. When I've got nothing better to do, I should be drinking water, I decided. 

CONCLUSIONS: I've felt better for longer this week. I've subconsciously and consciously leaned toward healthier food choices. I've shopped intelligently. I have some type of permitted food on hand at all times so I don't stray. It feels easier this time...

Cuddles,

Tamara

Bloodwork and the Numbers Game

I decided that waiting to do cholesterol bloodwork was a bad idea. Y'know-- since I'm sick, miserable and overweight NOW!

Since I was already in for a checkup (Yay! Insurance!) I had them draw blood for a full blood-analysis-doohickey. I get the results tomorrow. I will know how truly unhealthy I am in the morning and do a quick update here. The not-too-promising stats from today kind of nauseated me:

Height: 6'00" (Okay... I already knew this one!)
Weight: 284.4 lb (Hey! I was wearing clothes and shoes and carrying my cell phone...)
Body Mass Index: 38.6 (Morbidly obese, I think...)
Temperature: 97.7 (Not dead)
Blood Pressure: 139/106 (Dying a bit, due to stress at work or something else)
Pulse: 81 bpm (Not dead)

UPDATE: My in-home weigh-in right after the doctor and before I ate and in my drawas says 280. I'm gonna keep that one.

UPDATE AGAIN: 12/2/11: My in-home weigh-in after a day of swearing off Pepsi, caffeine, excess sugar, and sticking pretty closely to the Weight Watchers Simply Filling program (except for a small Wendy's chili and a Little Debbie brownie, which will be counted as weekly points deductions) is:

276 lb. point-something-I-forgot

Preliminary discussion:

1. I am VERY overweight, but for my height and bone structure, NP says my weight would probably be good at around 200 lb, which is my Major Goal One.

2. I am to monitor my blood pressure regularly and report back if it gets worse or doesn't significantly improve. (*sigh* Killing myself with food really sucks! This is the first time my blood pressure has registered that high at the doctor! I think I bragged before about having stable blood pressure and a healthy heart for a big 'un. Well, it's a slippery slope right now!)

3. Weight Watchers Simply Filling menu has been approved. Atkins has not been approved... But if I eat mostly Power Foods I'll be on Atkins! In short, I am to stop eating junk. With the NP's and doctor's stern faces firmly in mind.

4. I am also to exercise, no matter how cruddy it looks outside. In the best interests of not dying, I will make an earnest attempt. Cue Eye of the Tiger! This girl's gonna get movin'!

5. The Clincher: They force-scheduled me for my annual consultation with the doctor in 2 weeks, to officially check for improvements in my BP and stuff. You know what that means? A deadline! Two weeks to get somewhere or risk Doc's scary face!

Not REALLY scared of the guy, but his scary face has my best interests at heart. He would like to keep my business. I would like to live a longer, healthier life. There are mutually beneficial payouts to be had. Since my progress in weight loss has reversed, I think I'll start a NEW new week 1, in light of my mean-face-imposed deadline. Not that the week numbers really matter. Just helps me track things. But in honor of my umpteenth restart, I might as well. Tuesdays it is. :)

UPDATE-- BLOODWORK RESULTS:

Apparently, the numbers aren't worth posting. Because they're all within normal ranges except a couple that won't kill me. My bad cholesterol is only slightly elevated and not enough to warrant medical action. NP says to watch my fats and sodium intake. Which I'm doing. My calcium is a couple points below the expected range. Big whoop. I'm drinking fat free milk now, so that should fix that.

I feel silly for being slightly disappointed in the numbers. I mean, I don't have anything I can significantly reduce other than my weight, which is my only major risk factor for disease later on (according to the bloodwork numbers). But because of the blood pressure scare, I will be cutting out a lot of salt in my diet, which will help me shed water weight, anyway.

Someone close to me-- a relative-- was just diagnosed with diabetes. The kind that is controlled with pills "for now." I'm going to drag this person along on my Health Overhaul, hoping that significant improvements can be made there as well. This is another strong push to succeed. I guess this brings me back to my original point: I'm generally healthy for now. I just so happen to be overweight by 80 lb. I do NOT want an existing medical condition to force my weight loss. So here I go...

Cuddles,

Tamara