EVERYTHING SMOOTHIE

I had to have an endometrial biopsy following an ultrasound to confirm my PCOS. Shadows, thickening of the lining, etc... Still haven't got the results on that, but should sometime this week.

Bloodwork results are in, confirming PCOS through insulin levels. Everything else-- and I do mean everything was tested-- is back negative or normal. The prescription is...my old standby, the low carb diet. Plus a diuretic and an upped dosage of metformin.

On this low carb diet, which is a glorified Atkins Maintenance diet or a glorified Weight Watchers Power Foods diet, I'll be having vegetables and fruit in addition to low-fat meats. I already know how this works, and how this plays out, and told the NP this. But she insisted on speaking on and on about the benefits of a low-carb lifestyle. Duh. Got it. Lemme go... Please! :)

We know I won't be eating my veggies or fruit without the proper method of delivery. I'll eat just meat and nothing else, or mess up and end up grabbing something from the restaurant. So I, not being one too keen on eating my veggies and a very busy person of late, dragged out my blender. This will be a green smoothie jumpstart to my weight loss adventure.

I looked up recipes and such, bought a crap ton of healthy stuff, prepped and froze and prepped. Dragged out my new blender. Trucked it all to my tattoo studio. Ignored the recipes for now... Made my first "everything" smoothie.

EVERYTHING SMOOTHIE:

1c Water
1 tsp Ginger
1 tsp Cinnamon
2c Kale
1 Rome apple, cored
1 Granny Smith apple, cored
1 Orange, peeled
2 Bananas, frozen
1c strawberries, frozen
1c blueberries, frozen

Blend it forever, way longer than the couple minutes I did, adding ingredients in that order, until it's super smooth. Mine had some green bits that weren't quite ground, but it has a pleasant taste. Gotta get over your texture issues! :D

Next time, I'll play with another recipe. It was a weird experience, but very filling.

Food Suicide and The Cure

I haven't posted in months because I didn't want to report my ongoing failure, or worse, my ongoing lack of commitment. But here I am, letting you know I'm still alive and struggling forward. Struggling counts, because at least it's still trying. So here goes, a little note I posted in my Facebook page: 

I have insulin resistance, which means my fat cells are too fat to metabolize normal levels of insulin. My tired little pancreas has to pump out more insulin to get past the resistance. I get dizzy, weak and very sleepy as my blood-glucose continues to rise. Then my fat fat cells' flood gates open and slurp up all the crazy amounts of insulin, causing a necessary but sharp drop in blood sugar. I bottom out, suddenly starved to death (I must eat immediately at that point!) and feel much more alert, but start to get the dizzy shakes from needing to eat. Once I eat something (anything!), I start to feel better. Then the cycle starts all over again.

The so-called Wake-Up-Call pic...

I've failed in the struggle so often without proper health-risk motivation. Now that diabetes is looming and I've hit the over 300lb mark again (yeah, I just admitted that on the Internet), I still haven't figured out the "magic" combination of willpower, food, and support. I've beaten myself up often enough to be wary of proclaiming my next-big-plan to succeed. I've also had enough mini-successes in the mix to know what that feels like, too. And I've lost weight on some amazing recipes I created! (I even did a chronicle of the successes and failures... and recipes. Have a look and eat VERY well-- http://tamarahensonshealthoverhaul.blogspot.com/ )

Mmmmm....

But I inevitably aim the wrong food at my face and pull the trigger. The various reasons don't matter. 

The solution to my problem is simple. To fix my insulin resistance, I must make myself un-fat.

From my past experiences, I must also do this alone. I have let down the other person who already had some success on her diet, by failing in my attempt. I have been influenced by others' lack of focus. I have a thin husband who refuses to live on my health food, and rightfully so. I have many acquaintances who are on-again, off-again dieters. And I would be the only local person I know and like who is actively trying to improve my health. Which means I would have to actively refuse some aspects of my limited social time (eating junk), which usually makes it awkward for my non-dieting friends. I have expenses which make it difficult to consistently keep healthful food in my house. I have many pulls on my time that keep me from it.

However, I know what works in me to make this happen. I know what doesn't work. So I need to do what works, avoid what doesn't, and put my nose to the grindstone and stop listening to those who would intentionally or unintentionally sabotage me. 

For those who are in a similar situation, please tell me... What has worked for you?

Insulin Resistant: Gonna lose 106 pounds! Only 99 pounds left to go! :)

I posted this on Reddit after 13 days on low-carb Induction. Reposting here to keep from repeating myself too much:

"F/30/6' | SW: 306.4 | CW: 299.0 | GW: 200

Doc says it's insulin resistance/ prediabetes. He said "I'll prescribe you a pill." I said, "No you won't. I'll do this without meds." He said, "Then lose 100 pounds." I said, "Touche, Doc. Touche."

He also said to get on a low carb diet, which I already expected. I've lost 30 or so pounds with keto before and failed for stupid reasons. But I'm lucky this time: I'm pre-sick, and I'm not officially dying yet. Nothing like a medical reason to keep up the resolve!

The funny thing? I'm on day 13 of Induction and haven't cheated once! No cravings, no desire to eat bad things. I've been dragging my butt out of bed early to cook. I've eaten at restaurants within my limits. I guess the motivation is finally stemming from something beyond vanity. Not being pinned down by medication is great motivation! Not dying is even better!"

Support is pretty strong in the /keto and /loseit forums on Reddit.com. But like any place, there're trolls and douche bags. Haven't sold any of my creative things through Reddit, but I'll continue posting my health progress there. Maybe I'll inspire someone like they're inspiring me!

I bought salmon again! Two weeks in, I'm needing some variety. And 3lb bags of the frozen stuff was BACK at Kroger. Also stocked up on other low-carb things. Did feel a bit claustrophobic in the candy and bread and ice cream aisles, but made it through without a breakdown. I bought a small, already-roasted chicken instead. 

I feel pretty darn good, physically speaking! I'm eating low-carb and about a half or more of the meat I eat is also low fat. I'm incorporating vegetables in everything. I'm drinking nothing but water and "sweet" tea made with Splenda. I'm taking vitamins daily: probiotic, garlic, cinnamon, B complex, an Omega fatty acid combo, and...something else... in addition to my multivitamin. My blood sugar has neither bottomed out nor skyrocketed since my doctor visit. And I'm in ketosis, which was an accident related to my 1 meal with carbs per day the doctor ordered. But I'm rolling with it. As long as I drink plenty of water, I'll be fine. 

I'll be combining low carb AND low fat more strategically once I've finished reading my South Beach Supercharged book. Don't know how that'll work, since Doc told me it was okay (as in-- DO IT!!) to get my carbs from mostly non-starchy veggies. But I can use some principles from the book, I'm sure. Plus, my friend Angela is on South Beach again! So I have a consistent diet-buddy!

Cuddles,

Tamara

Now: Pre-Diabetes!

I'm pre-diabetic, that is to say, I have "Insulin Resistance Syndrome." And Doc says I have 100 pounds to lose, or I'll be Type II Diabetic within a year. So I told him I don't want any of his pre-diabetes meds, and I'm doing this without them. So he told ME to get my butt on a low carb diet (only 1 daily meal with non-veggie carbs) and to do aerobic exercise 3X a week, in addition to daily strength training. And if I don't make big improvements within 5 months, I'd be on the meds. So I told him... ok. I know I've done this dieting thing before, but this time it's scary, with worse consequences. So here I go again, on my own. :D


I've also gained weight. I'm at 306.4-ish pounds, with a BMI of 41. 


Now, whether I can actually swing this dieting thing, I don't know. But I'd rather not be sicker. We'll see.

What's wrong with me???

I neglected this blog for weeks so I could finish my novel and get it published. I have also eaten nothing but fast food and convenience foods since my last post. As a result, I've hit my highest weight in recent history: 287.0 lb. I don't consider myself a food addict. When I'm project-focused, I'm just a convenience addict.

What a waste of all my effort for an entire year! To be this fat again really irks me. It was preventable. Something had to slide to make time for the novel, but not slide THIS MUCH! I could cite reasons and excuses, but I'm not a big fan of either. Besides, they're all based on what I did or didn't do: I was lazy. I was unfocused. I went through the drive-thru rather than cooking at home. I could also blame others, but that's silly: I don't have anyone to support me. I have no one invested in diet and exercise with me, really, consistently. It's silly because health improvement pacts at work are passing whims. Sad, pathetic promises we all sweep under the rug when our fragile willpower caves to a candy-bar. So what if no one I know wants to dedicate themselves to being healthier? They must have better things to do. I'll not blame them for my failure.

The gloves are off. I'm done. I'm killing myself with food. This is suicide. I either need to stop and get healthier, or give up and die my early death with a plate piled high with junk-food and medications to counteract that junk-food's effect on my bloated, miserable body.

You know what works? Effort. Honest-to-goodness effort to make something happen. Don't pray to win the lottery if you're not willing to buy a ticket. So when I've put in effort, when I've made actual progress, I'll post again. Until then, I won't waste your time with my failures.

UPDATE: What a whiny, emo spiel! Let's see... Translation: "I got lazy and unmotivated. I acknowledge I am on my own and must improve my health. I'll try harder, putting my effort into worthy pursuits, and only update following my next breakthrough." There. Less annoying! LOL

Cuddles,
Tamara

PROGRESS: Week 7, Hello Ketosis!

The Franken-Diet is what I call the Frankenstein's monster of diet parts and pieces that work for me. 

Now I'm in the low carb stage of the Franken-Diet. Ketones are the byproducts released as the body burns primarily fat instead of carbohydrates. The ketones are purged through urine, saliva, and probably through every other gland. Testing high for ketosis is bad if you're not trying to make it happen through dieting. But I'm trying...

I'm testing Moderate for ketosis, finally. For the first week or two of low-carb eating (via Atkins Induction), I purge water weight rapidly, due to the diuretic effect of ketosis. After that, weight loss slows to a normal, "healthy" rate as I increase my carb intake by measured increments. This initial stage of the diet fools the body into thinking it's starving (no/low carbs= starving) even though you're cramming food into it (mostly protein). As a results, hunger is suppressed. Blood sugar is incredibly stable. My stomach is nice and calm. The food is rich and satisfying. The cravings and food addictions subside. And your body is forced to mobilize fat because you're not giving it any carbs!

Go to the official Atkins site for more information: http://www.atkins.com/Program/Phase-1.aspx . 

Weight 2 Weeks Ago: 277.2

Weight 1 Week Ago: 280 (From the "Crap, I didn't lose weight because I didn't focus" files!)

Weight This Week: 271.8

8.2 Pounds Lost!

Now, don't get me wrong. I'm not suggesting a wonder diet. The science behind low-carb is sound. I also eat more naturally on this diet than any other. (Seriously-- God may have made sugar, but He only facilitated the production of Twinkies with that creation...) This is only a "diet" if you have no intention of changing your habits for the long term. The Lifetime Maintenance on Atkins is full of vegetables, occasional fruit, and some dairy. And regardless of the avoidable minor inconveniences, I'm going on how I feel, which is awesome!

Good Things That I Ate:

1. Breakfast: Eggs with Bacon Pieces. A bit of Mexene Chili Powder (my favorite egg-topper!)

2. Lunch: Lean Hamburgers with Mayo and Ketchup

3. Alternate Lunch: Chicken Salad (made with canned chicken breast, dill relish and mayo)

4. Dinners: 20 Carb Avocado Salad, Plain Salad with Ranch (bleh!), 20 Carb Taco Salad, McD's side salad with 2 Chicken Grill Patties and Ranch, 

20 Carb Taco Salad

Easy Recipe: Prepare taco meat using lean ground beef (or what-have-you) and serve with fresh spinach, chopped onions, sour cream, a drizzle of taco sauce, and a sprinkle of Parmesan cheese!

20 Carb Guacamole Salad

Easy Recipe 2: Prepare guacamole by mashing a ripe avocado and either 1) adding lime juice, cilantro, onion powder and garlic powder OR 2) using half a pack of prepared guac seasoning (has more carbs). Then serve over spinach with sour cream (didn't like this in the salad), bacon pieces, Parmesan cheese and some pepperoni slices.

Low Carb Snacks:

1. Mac's BBQ Pork Rinds (like no other! *sigh*)

2. Portioned beef jerky

3. Cream cheese (sometimes WITH the pork rinds. Don't knock it til you tried it!)

4. An occasional spoonful of peanut butter (I think I had one all week)

Here Are Some Things I Did:

1. Saved almost all of my allotted carbohydrates (20g/day) for dinner. I will continue to do this because if I veer off the all-protein path during the day, I'll screw up at night. It feels like splurging when I wait! And for each of these "splurge" dinners, I ate a SALAD!

2. Measured and counted everything with carbs! Grippo's Powder is now on my list of no-nos. It has 4 carbs in just one teaspoon. So I made a couple mistakes early in the week. 

3. I had an avocado a day for over half the week. 15 carbs, well worth the scrounging and saving of carb grams. Oh, and something about Omega something-something good for me...

4. Did at least one full day of burnout sessions with the exercise bands at work. I did a different routine between each call until I was a tired little puddle. I spent about 5 hours (minus call time) playing with those rubber bands, not realizing how sore I would be today! I shall call it Chair-Fu Calisthenics and Rubber-Band Boxing!

And I'm trying to do more of the same for this upcoming week! I just realized I can make my baked salmon and avocado recipe! Mmmmmmm....

Cuddles,

Tamara

PROGRESS: Week 5

Holiday damages aside, I honestly didn't get focused well enough to do the diet all that well this week. Candies finally dwindled to nothing. Other junk foods did the same. Restaurant food was eaten once or twice. Hot chocolate sustained me during my cold (which is also dwindling, but still present). Hot Chicken and Pasta sustained me at lunch. And sometimes at dinner. I even had a couple caffeine-free regular Pepsis. So I expected my weight to go up, not down. I did the weigh-over I usually reserve for when I think I should weigh LESS! :) And the third weigh-over of relative confusion...

Weight Last Week: 279.4
Weight This Week: 277.2

That's 2.2 pounds lost. I'll take it, and actually update the ticker so it'll be accurate.

Good Things I Ate This Week:

1. Chicken and Pasta
2. Baked potatoes with fat free sour cream

Here Are Some Things I Did:

1. Prepared the soup ahead of time
2. Baked stuffed peppers last night
3. Dutifully ate oatmeal, cinnamon and Sweet N Low for breakfast this morning
4. Otherwise, not much!

Things I Plan To Change This Week:

1. Decided that oatmeal is kinda unappetizing to me. Will probably eat some type of protein for breakfast instead.
2. WW Simply Filling is the focus of this week. I can't cheat if I don't have the food in the house to do so.

UPDATE: I entered my original weight of 300lb to be more accurate with total weight lost (not just weight lost since the blog started). And I entered my current weight for today. And I didn't cry. But here's the chart:



WHERE I'M HEADING WITH THIS:

I want to stick with Simply Filling for a month and see how much progress I make versus days on and days off. I then want to transition to an Atkins-style WW diet, incorporating my Simply Filling food list only and eating lean proteins and vegetables until I'm close to my goal weight. (Incorporation of several diets, hence "Franken-Diet") Then I want to transition again into a lifelong healthy eating habit as I shed the last few pounds. I expect my food list at that time to be the WW Simply Filling list I compiled, with perhaps pure fats and cheeses in moderation instead of unlimited fat free. That way, I'm eating mostly all natural foods that I could grow or produce on a farm. :)

I don't know how long this is going to take. I've piddled with it for a year, never really locking in a routine, even when the routine worked in the short term. So I'm going to say that in 5 months of diligence, I should be close. I'll gauge it again in a month. I don't want to wait another year to finish my health overhaul!

Cuddles,

Tamara

PROGRESS: Week 3, 100th Post!

Today I celebrate my 100th post with some positive progress and a little story about The Scale and I! Considering this is the week before Christmas and I've been making candy like crazy-- and only sampling tiny amounts-- it's a miracle I've gotten anywhere with it! But the period of time I'm calling "damage control" has yielded results:

Weight Last Week: 275.2
Weight This Week: 273.4

That's a difference of 1.8 pounds! With eating some of the candies for the babies of the peoples!

Good things I ate this week:

1. More turkey thin-bread sandwiches for lunch. Now I'm out of the bread, so I won't buy more.

2. Baked salmon for lunch once, breakfast a couple or three times. (Because the stink of it heating up for lunch that one time may have killed a few coworkers! :D So I made different lunches to replace those.) Pure protein goodness!

3. Power Foods Texas Hash from my recipes. With refried beans and melted Pepperjack cheese.

4. Stuffed peppers: cleared out my stock of frozen peppers so I didn't have to cook. Now will have to cook!

5. String cheese as snacks at work

6. A couple days of oatmeal with Sweet N Low and cinnamon. Meh. :)

Here are some things I did:


1. Avoided added salt.

2. Cooked Texas Hash and Salmon in advance.

3. Made sandwiches fresh each morning.

4. Measured portions for almost everything!

5. Snacked on candies in EXTREME moderation!

6. Kept busy with work or cleaning or creative pursuits. No time to idly eat!

Here are some things I plan to change this week:


1. Eat Christmas food on the day before, day of and day after, but not beyond. (No infinite leftovers!)

2. Pay more attention to the "full" feeling. Cut regular portion sizes accordingly.

3. A few rounds with an exercise video or two. Helps with health AND stress!

THE SCALE AND I-- TAMA SAYS:

Back in the day, in fifth grade, the teacher did weigh-ins in front of class. Not officially public, but may as well have been. My number (on the first digital scale I ever remember seeing) was 188. I looked at her and her assistant. They looked at me. Some kids snickered. Forget the fact that I was the tallest, strongest kid in class, an Amazon in comparison to the little boys. That was the first time I saw my weight as a health problem.

Sure, I got picked on before that day for being the poor kid, the smart kid, the shy kid, the tall kid AND the fat kid in class. But Mamaw always told me, "It's just baby fat. You'll grow up and it'll all be gone." In almost the same breath she'd comment on how so-and-so was "as big as you are, Tamara!" or "even bigger than you!" (A practice she continued-- among other unsavory ones-- until I just vacated her presence a couple years ago. Permanently. With little regret. And only the briefest meetings since.)

Regardless of the other things she said which I knew were instigating crap, I was gullible. I believed that bit about baby fat until I saw 188 on the scale. Then the struggle started. But when you're not paying the bills, you eat what you're given, which was sufficient. I hit a growth spurt after this, too. I outgrew my long hair, which "shrank" from my hips up to my bra strap. Big Macs went on sale around that time. I'd eat two in a sitting, with fries and a shake. I can't do that now! But I was literally a growing young girl.

By eight grade, I was fatter, but the weight was stretched out on a longer frame (I ended up at 6ft eventually). After a few diets-- the Grapefruit diet (blech!) and Atkins, to name a couple-- I was still overweight. Going into high school, I weighed 212 pounds. Going into college, I weighed 223-ish. (I didn't gain the Freshman 15 because I walked everywhere. I may have lost weight...) Coming out of 5 years on my butt in customer service, I weighed 275. And coming out of my one and only year of full time teaching, during which I was sick for most of it, I weighed 300 pounds. And by the time I started this blog... ummm Monday, December 27, 2010, to be exact... I was fully unemployed for the first time in my adult life and down to 291 lb. And I was finally ready to take control of at least one area of my crumbly future: my weight!

I get different comments now when people ask my weight. "You don't look like you weigh that much." "You carry it well." I don't mind these as much. And if people know you're on a diet, they'll comment on how much weight you've lost. :) Even when you haven't. It's an attempt at encouragement that I would never discourage. Most people KNOW how hard it is to lose weight.

I can't see a weight change yet. Even in ten pounds, I may not notice. But I finally remembered why owning a digital scale made me feel a grain of hesitation, why it was so ingrained in me to buy one. A digital scale is where it all started-- the downfall and the climb back up. The number 188. I think I'll set that as Major Goal Number 2 when I knock off this 100 pounds. If I do that, I'll have come full circle. :)

PROGRESS: Week 2

PROGRESS AND NUMBERS: 

I skipped out on that doctor consultation today. Sleep has been too rare, almost as rare as my desire to pay the guy a copay to tell me what I already knew. :)

So I did my own weigh-in today. I'm at 275.2 lb today, which means it's holding steady, and that's just fine by me for this week. I checked my blood pressure the other day, and all numbers were within healthy ranges. I even got a 70-something on my diastolic number (if that's the bottom one).  

I didn't lose weight this week, probably because of my little novel-finishing celebration of Wendy's chili, a garden salad... and a small chocolate Frosty! I've also eaten chocolate every day this week, and one Arby's breakfast involving ice water, tater-hash-brown things, and a MUCH larger breakfast wrap than I expected (two servings-- breakfast and breaktime!). I also made Chicken and Dumplings for Brandon (clearly not permitted as Power Foods) and ate that for dinner for a couple days. Add a McDouble dressed like a Mac and a McChicken, plus one large sweet tea at some point, and that just about rounds out my week!

UPDATE PIC: My Celebration Meal

Here are some good things I ate this week:

UPDATE PIC: Those weird sandwiches. I ate two. I was really hungry!

1. Lunch at Work: Teriyaki Chicken (just add soy, teriyaki, and sesame seeds to chicken breast cooked in sesame oil) and Chicken Parmesan (I just made the stuffing for my Chicken Parmesan Peppers). Less than one and a half cups per serving. Three pounds of chicken spread over five servings. Around 6 bucks. 

2. Snacks at work: Materne GoGoSqueez AppleCinnamon Applesauce, to which I am addicted but intentionally ran out. And light string cheese sticks. Mmmm...

3. Fat Free deli Turkey on low-fat, thin wheat sandwich rounds. Added some thinly sliced pepperjack cheese, onion, and lite mayo.

4. A baked potato with fat-free cream cheese, lite butter spray (blech!), and Grippo's powder spice, AKA ambrosia of the gods.

5. Fat free milk over Kashi GoLean Crunch, of which I have no more.

Here are some things I did:

1. Exercise bands at work, between calls, a couple days.

2. Avoided salt, except for a few pickle slices and olives. And the Grippo's powder.

3. Cooked and prepared all lunches from work in advance for the entire week.

Here are some things I plan to change this week:

1. Eat oatmeal with Sweet-N-Low and cinnamon instead of the Kashi cereal. Even if I do a double helping, it'll cut my breakfast calories and carbs significantly.

2. Polish off those last four sandwich rounds, and probably not get more! :D

3. Keep string cheese as a snack; avoid buying the crack known as GoGoSqueez applesauce! 

In doing the above, I'm cutting sugary carbs and upping protein. I didn't have much of a problem with low blood sugar like last week, so it's time to start reducing my carb intake as well. 

THE SECRET:

After acknowledging the many ironies in my life here, http://tamarahensonstudios.blogspot.com/2011/12/180-degrees.html, I realized that I've finally developed the right mentality for becoming a healthier person. The big secret? I have promised myself to try AND do. Trying doesn't get you anywhere unless accomplishing follows. Or as Yoda says, "Do or do not, there is no try!" So what do I do when I have a snack or off-plan meal? I just barrel ahead, forgetting my failures and picking up where I left off at the next meal or snack. Obvious, right? But it's not always been easy for me. But here's why it BECAME easy:

If the Almighty Creator God of the entire universe can forgive me and erase my many sins from the face of all existence, then I must 1) forgive myself a slip up AND 2) try not to make it worse. In all areas, including my Health Overhaul. That's it! It got personal and spiritual. Letting go of the do-it-all attitude is hard to do. But I'm practicing not drowning, one meal at a time!

Cuddles,

Tamara

PROGRESS: A New Week 1

Last time, I said that I'd just restart my weeks-counting, since I'm technically rebooting my program this week anyway. So here goes: I'll just post new progress posts under shiny new week headings... again! At first I was discouraged with having to do a new start. Then a good, cuddly friend of mine reminded me that it's not going under water that drowns you, it's STAYING under water. So as long as I keep resurfacing, I'm okay! :)

Now, the progress part: 

I had a routine exam today, and I'll have the doctor consultation/progress check next week.

NUMBERS LAST WEEK:

Blood Pressure: 139/106 

Heart Rate: 81 bpm

In-Office Weight: 284.4

At-Home Weight: 280

NUMBERS THIS WEEK: 

Blood Pressure: 139/90 (Down more, but not enough yet)

Heart Rate: 71 bpm (Pretty good)

In-Office Weight: 279.2

At-Home Weight: 275 point something

RESULTS:

BP and Heart Rate are lower, which is good. No wrath-of-the-nurse fell upon my head!

I've lost 4-ish pounds in a week, which is good for my morale.

WHAT I DID ALL WEEK:

1. Stuck close to the Simply Filling program. My previous post's peppers have served me well as lunch at work! I ate a boiled egg with some salt for my first break, and my Materne GoGoSqueez Apple Sauce with Cinnamon on 2nd break, cuz I'm a big kid now. :D My blood sugar bottomed out the first couple days at work because I guess I cut out too much too quickly, so I dosed with Cheez-its and extra applesauce until I felt better. I also bought low-fat thin-buns that are whole wheat as vehicles for my fat-free deli meats. 

2. Deviated intelligently, when possible. I ate some chocolate every day. Plus Cheez-its. I ate Wendy's chili on a garden salad with a baked chive-and-sour-cream potato. All but the chili is "allowed". After the blood sugar drop, I picked up some Kashi Go Lean Crunch to replace my leftover Crunch Berries. 

3. Focused on lean protein, fat-free dairy, some veggies and some fruit. Didn't do the full-on veggie bake side dish to go with my peppers at work. 

4. Measured portions with actual measuring utensils. Or used pre-measured portions (like the applesauce). No eyeballin' here! Moderation only works for me when I just don't put it on my plate!

5. Light exercise. I took my exercise bands to work and got in some light stretching and strength training to all my major muscle groups over the course of 2 hours or so-- in between calls-- the first day! :) I noticed a mood improvement. I was calmer, less antsy, more relaxed and less easily irritated. I wasn't as likely to yawn, either. I felt more alert. The second day, I did my short 15lb weights routine on my arms, chest, back and legs before work, and some abs/cardio with the bands at work. (Hey! I was by myself, and it was kinda slow going! I had to amuse myself...) Chair exercises are comical, but they get the job done!

6. Used very little salt and paid attention to when my blood pressure spiked. (At work, stressful callers, annoying coworker habits, etc.) And then I tried to calm it down instead of let it fester. Deep breathing and such!

7. Drank tons of water, while at work. When I've got nothing better to do, I should be drinking water, I decided. 

CONCLUSIONS: I've felt better for longer this week. I've subconsciously and consciously leaned toward healthier food choices. I've shopped intelligently. I have some type of permitted food on hand at all times so I don't stray. It feels easier this time...

Cuddles,

Tamara

Dress Progression... Fun!

First time I tried on the dress, in February or March 2011, I think. What a nice picture someone took, showcasing the dress size and everything! The zipper is crying. At least the lady didn't use those industrial clamps. Means I wasn't the biggest big girl to stroll in that day, I guess...

 At the end of the reception on the wedding day, 11-11-11. Or as some nerds call it, "The Day Skyrim Was Released"...

Now, I will not pretend that I'm not squeezed into the dress in the latter picture. I am. I can breathe, but just barely. And you can see some muffin-top of my back fat. But that baby zipped up, with a bit of effort. Maybe less effort if we all hadn't gotten our nails done.

Twenty pounds made a world of difference. From the scary 300 I started with, down to the 291 I started my blog with, down and up again to 284... It's scary to think I have so much more to lose. Especially when 20 lb doesn't seem like a whole lot to have lost. That's crazy! With most people, that's a sixth of their weight! That's a fourteenth of my weight! And now my daily quota of math has been reached. I'll kick this thing like a bad habit, though. Not dying is a significant goal of mine!

Bloodwork and the Numbers Game

I decided that waiting to do cholesterol bloodwork was a bad idea. Y'know-- since I'm sick, miserable and overweight NOW!

Since I was already in for a checkup (Yay! Insurance!) I had them draw blood for a full blood-analysis-doohickey. I get the results tomorrow. I will know how truly unhealthy I am in the morning and do a quick update here. The not-too-promising stats from today kind of nauseated me:

Height: 6'00" (Okay... I already knew this one!)
Weight: 284.4 lb (Hey! I was wearing clothes and shoes and carrying my cell phone...)
Body Mass Index: 38.6 (Morbidly obese, I think...)
Temperature: 97.7 (Not dead)
Blood Pressure: 139/106 (Dying a bit, due to stress at work or something else)
Pulse: 81 bpm (Not dead)

UPDATE: My in-home weigh-in right after the doctor and before I ate and in my drawas says 280. I'm gonna keep that one.

UPDATE AGAIN: 12/2/11: My in-home weigh-in after a day of swearing off Pepsi, caffeine, excess sugar, and sticking pretty closely to the Weight Watchers Simply Filling program (except for a small Wendy's chili and a Little Debbie brownie, which will be counted as weekly points deductions) is:

276 lb. point-something-I-forgot

Preliminary discussion:

1. I am VERY overweight, but for my height and bone structure, NP says my weight would probably be good at around 200 lb, which is my Major Goal One.

2. I am to monitor my blood pressure regularly and report back if it gets worse or doesn't significantly improve. (*sigh* Killing myself with food really sucks! This is the first time my blood pressure has registered that high at the doctor! I think I bragged before about having stable blood pressure and a healthy heart for a big 'un. Well, it's a slippery slope right now!)

3. Weight Watchers Simply Filling menu has been approved. Atkins has not been approved... But if I eat mostly Power Foods I'll be on Atkins! In short, I am to stop eating junk. With the NP's and doctor's stern faces firmly in mind.

4. I am also to exercise, no matter how cruddy it looks outside. In the best interests of not dying, I will make an earnest attempt. Cue Eye of the Tiger! This girl's gonna get movin'!

5. The Clincher: They force-scheduled me for my annual consultation with the doctor in 2 weeks, to officially check for improvements in my BP and stuff. You know what that means? A deadline! Two weeks to get somewhere or risk Doc's scary face!

Not REALLY scared of the guy, but his scary face has my best interests at heart. He would like to keep my business. I would like to live a longer, healthier life. There are mutually beneficial payouts to be had. Since my progress in weight loss has reversed, I think I'll start a NEW new week 1, in light of my mean-face-imposed deadline. Not that the week numbers really matter. Just helps me track things. But in honor of my umpteenth restart, I might as well. Tuesdays it is. :)

UPDATE-- BLOODWORK RESULTS:

Apparently, the numbers aren't worth posting. Because they're all within normal ranges except a couple that won't kill me. My bad cholesterol is only slightly elevated and not enough to warrant medical action. NP says to watch my fats and sodium intake. Which I'm doing. My calcium is a couple points below the expected range. Big whoop. I'm drinking fat free milk now, so that should fix that.

I feel silly for being slightly disappointed in the numbers. I mean, I don't have anything I can significantly reduce other than my weight, which is my only major risk factor for disease later on (according to the bloodwork numbers). But because of the blood pressure scare, I will be cutting out a lot of salt in my diet, which will help me shed water weight, anyway.

Someone close to me-- a relative-- was just diagnosed with diabetes. The kind that is controlled with pills "for now." I'm going to drag this person along on my Health Overhaul, hoping that significant improvements can be made there as well. This is another strong push to succeed. I guess this brings me back to my original point: I'm generally healthy for now. I just so happen to be overweight by 80 lb. I do NOT want an existing medical condition to force my weight loss. So here I go...

Cuddles,

Tamara

Week 15: Party Week Anti-Progress

I gained 2lb this week. I'm at 270. I had good food and great company, though! But I ate very yummy bad-for-me things all week.

Food Sins List, Abbreviated:

1. My homemade super awesome cheeseball recipe and crackers
2. Veggie Pizza: pizza crust, ranch cream cheese, carrots
3. Cheesecake
4. Grippos
5. Real Pepsi and Dr. Pepper and Root Beer
6. Chips for WW-Friendly Bean Dip
7. Baby Fingers: Lil Smokies wrapped in Bacon cooked in Brown Sugar... but only a few! :)
8. Dreamsicle Punch: (Diet) Orange Soda and regular vanilla ice cream
9. Other things that were equally good...

Also, a few healthy WW Points Plus recipes forthcoming...

Cuddles,

Tamara

Week 14: Progress Again

My weigh-in today put me at 268.4lb, my lowest weight so far. That's down about 3lb from my lowest weight a couple weeks ago. I'm very excited about this, and feel like I've accomplished it by the seat of my pants, or skin of my teeth, or something along those lines. I really haven't cheated these past few days, but the beginning of the week had some rough spots. 

Maybe I cut the weight because I'm sick with a cold-thing and have no appetite? My meals have been mostly some tuna, eggs, vegetables, apples, and Campbell's Healthy Request chunky chicken noodle soup. While the latter isn't strictly on my diet, if it's all I ate for a meal and it's mostly broth it seems to have made little negative impact on my metabolism. If I could have tasted it, I'm sure it would have been stupendous!

My cravings-button is off on most days. The only things I occasionally want that are horrible for me are the McDonald's McRib, Wendy's chili (not horrible, Points-wise), BBQ Grippos, and some chocolate things. All of these things, I will have on occasion. I just avoided the McRib for weigh-in, though! :) I keep plenty of apples and baby carrots on hand for snack emergencies and make lunch for work in advance. These precautions are the reasons I don't eat bad-for-me things more often. I'm also keeping my late dinners light, when possible, so I don't go to sleep with a belly full of foods with fat-conversion potential. 

The exercise thing didn't happen this week, mostly because I was sickly and had no energy. Leastly, because I worked on wedding and costume stuff and played on the internet to placate myself. I'm not a pitiful sick person. Being sick frustrates me. I get angry. There. The truth comes out! This is why, as long as I'm not horribly contagious, I'll not usually call in to work. If I can't be productive at home when I'm sick, I might as well get paid at work! Creative logic at work! :) 

Also, yay! Weight loss! Gonna spend my drive to work and back home avoiding the McRib. Dunno how I'll do, but hey, tomorrow's the beginning of my Health Overhaul week! I can play catch-up the rest of the week...

LIST OF PROGRESS-SMASHERS FOR NEXT WEEK"

1. McRib :D

2. H'ween Party Sunday= Homemade Party Foods. Will probably weigh-in pre-food! :)

3. McRib...

Week 13: Down Again

Since last week's gurgle-splat-twitch, better known as the death of my metabolism, I have managed to get back down to 272.2. It's still a pound higher than my last official weigh-in. However, it's over 2 pounds lighter than my cheater panicky weigh-in a few days ago. So I'll take it as re-progress. :)

I may have weighed less if Brandon hadn't gotten off work early and taken me to dinner when I got off work. I don't wanna talk about it except to say how I doubt anything I ate was remotely Power Foods. And it was a late dinner the night before weigh-in. And it wasn't even the elusive McRib. Not casting stones at Brandon. He can't help it that he has the metabolism of a marathon runner. And he is cute. But he has been informed that I am to eat a salad or something of a similar nature if we go to a restaurant again between now and the wedding.

My blockades to success this week: My new friend Brandi's wedding; the McRib is rumored to have returned.

Blockades next week: Susan visits; Amped up wedding-prep stress; The Halloween Party!

I gotta prep costumes and Halloween party stuff, make two flower girl dresses, another throwing bouquet, 14 or so goblet candles, garters, favor bags, place cards and signs, cake toppers, and a dozen other things. I can only do two or three of those things with help from others. So I'll be the recluse for a while. Which should help me with the whole dieting thing. :) We'll see. Maybe I'll drop a few stress pounds as well! (Wait, I shouldn't rejoice in that, right?)

A Mess Up, A Word of Encouragement

A MESS UP:
In my sneak weigh-in today, I've gained a few pounds. Which means I've messed up somewhere this week. I've had an 80/20 kinda week, with 20% being the on-task on-diet portion. And I've been eating at the house, with one restaurant exception. So it's a combination of portion and food choice. And inactivity. :*(

I will post my weight this Monday, I'll just suck it up and update my Tickers with a higher number if needed. Again. Trying not to get discouraged, but I get so mad at myself for just "not caring" once or twice. It throws the whole week out the window when I do that.

The good thing is that the Simply Filling option of Weight Watchers Points Plus really works, when I stay on it. And I feel stronger and healthier. It's almost identical to the South Beach Diet and the Atkins Lifetime Maintenance Diet, and works for the same reasons.

AWESOME STORY:

I talked to a woman at work recently who I noticed had lost a lot of weight. She was eating a very whole-foods-and-lean-protein lunch. She said she started about a year ago upon some very stringent doctor instructions due to an intolerance to certain foods. She used the South Beach Diet, and lost something like 60lb the first 2 months. As of our discussion, she has lost OVER 130 POUNDS in just under a year!!! That's a whole adult woman, or two hefty kids, or one skinny guy! Holy crap!

There, a Tamara Wake Up Call if ever I heard one! I want to do this BEFORE it turns into a doctor's order, before I'm sick with diabetes and killing myself with eating. And before I have 130 more pounds to lose. I know if I can get down to 200, my risk of EVERYTHING will be lowered by ridiculous percentages. And 74-ish pounds is NOTHING compared to what this woman has done with willpower alone! Goal, here I come!

End of Week 12: Content in Disaster

This week, I hosted some great friends, one of which I hadn't seen in a year due to his deployment overseas. So due to good company, hormonal fluctuation, and way too many non-Power Foods, I feel confident that I made zero progress this week, perhaps even negative progress. In order to curb the morale degradation that I would experience in such a case, I've decided not to post a weigh-in this week.

I have plenty of acceptable foods already prepped and ready to eat. I'm shooting for all Power Foods, all week. Mainly, I just haven't purchased any non-Power Foods for this week. I found a weight-control prepackaged Quaker oatmeal that I'm trying, with no real sugar. Then when I run out of that, I have a canister of the plain stuff. And I'll be making that one with fat-free milk, cinnamon and a bit o' fake sweetener. I have a few weeks worth of oatmeal stocked, I realize. I'm thinking about phasing out of oatmeal after I run out, and shifting to eggs for breakfast. This will cut my carb intake and up my protein, pushing me toward a more protein-and-vegetable diet through the winter.

Also, if I scare myself with a wedding countdown, I'm sure I can get my butt in gear to start exercising as well.

A Note on Spring: I'm excited about Spring because I am planning a garden, starting an orchard (results in 3-5 years, LOL) AND maybe even making a chicken coop to buy some Araucana chickens, which lay green and blue eggs. I figure since I'm pretty much grounded until I'm blessed with doing a book tour, I'd better be productive with it. I loved my fresh garden vegetables so much, I'd be tempted to go vegetarian throughout summer and fall! For those who know me, that's a bold claim. :)

Cuddles,

Tamara

20 Pounds Gone = A New Pic!

When I ran out of clean jeans and begrudgingly resorted to an old pair that's a size smaller than I've had to wear for the last two years, AND THEY FIT VERY WELL!!!, I decided that it was time to update Ye Olde Picture. I'm pretty sure that original picture is less of 291 and more toward 300, when I think about it, but it does show a little difference between that one and the new one. I'm wearing the old, skinnier jeans in the updated picture. Kinda cool.

Also, pay no attention to all my nerd-dom on the bookcases behind me. Or do pay attention, if you're a nerd. :)

Cuddles,

Tamara

End of Week 11: A Shiny Sunday

WEIGH IN AND WEIGHT OUT:

I weighed early today instead of tomorrow because, well, I was very nosy. I weighed in at 271.2 lb. This may be the lowest I've weighed in a long time. That's down 3.6-ish from last week. I also lost 1.5 inches off my hips, which explains the sliding pants issue I've been having.

I'm not overly concerned with this high initial weight loss, because I'd only successfully managed the diet for three days last week. I'm considering it water-weight. This week, I have or will manage a full seven days. So besides being happy about having some weight loss success, I feel great about a whole week of healthier foods. My overall nutrition has improved. Veggies and fruit, lean meat, fat free dairy, and whole grains are simple enough to manage. And this is the first time that I've done what's right for my body.

I've decided if I ever lose more than 4 pounds a week, I need to take in more food. If I lose less than 2 pounds, I need to take in less. At least until I get closer to my goal, when my weight loss will slow naturally. Eventually, I'll get around to upping the exercise to include more than yard work, too!

After my solid weigh-in, re-weigh, then acceptance procedure, I updated my Tickers' chart. Not the best chart, but my little weigh in dot is lower than ever!



THE SUPER SECRETS OF SUCCESS:

Ready for the super-secrets of this week's success?

1. Don't eat fast food. You don't want it that much, after all, and the points are too high to justify "just a bite." You will binge and then feel like crap.

2. Save your weekly points for the last day or two of the week. Don't squander those points on something you don't really crave! I had a brownie and some Grippos yesterday, and homemade sushi and fried rice earlier in the week. Those were my cravings. And saving the points gives you something to look forward to.

3. Eat whole foods when possible. I still have 10-ish applesauce pouches for emergencies. But I bought two bags of golden and red delicious apples. No bananas this week, just small apples. Two a day at work.

4. Buy frozen or fresh vegetables and fruit and justify eating the fresh ones first because you want to minimize waste. I have a head of lettuce that I bought to use on the refried beans and rice salad. I have bypassed Taco Bell at least twice because 1) I didn't wanna waste the lettuce, for which I'm often guilty and 2) My salad tastes better and is all Power Foods (zero guilt).

5. Limit your variety, but still have variety. I had baked veggies and chicken OR salmon, plus two apples, at work. At home, I ate oatmeal made with fat free milk for breakfast and the refried beans and rice salad OR the frozen stuffed pepper for late dinner. So it's more variety than the prior week and I feel better.

NOTE: I just realized that half the time or more, I accidentally ate a vegetarian meal: the refried beans and rice salad. I guess that helps, too! Hmmm. Suckered myself into that one, which is impressive, considering how glued to the Atkins diet I have been!

Next week, my challenge includes food at the Daniel Boone Festival, which had a rich heritage of celebration and old ladies dressing in cute pioneer costumes. Now, it's a silly carnival with "horrible" carnival food. I am trying to hold all my weekly points for a blooming onion and a funnel cake. Perhaps a gyro, as Susan insists. I doubt I can psychologically manage the baby sheep one, though...

End of Week 10: Weigh In!

Enter the digital scale and a much less hit-or-miss approach to weighing in! I did lose 0.2 pounds last week, down to 274.8 lb. The previous weight was on the Dial-o-Scale, and my current weight is digital. I may have lost more or less because of the discrepancy between the two, and subsequent lack of accuracy. But the numbers should be more accurate from here on out. About that, I am excited!

My success rate for eating Power Foods last week was only 3 days out of 7, or 43% of the week. Not promising numbers, but bound to improve. I realized that every off-task day puts me a few days behind in my attempt to get the fat furnace burning. This does not bode well for any long term mental or physical success. The fact that I feel better emotionally and physically after a proper day spent on the Simply Filling plan should serve to keep me focused this week. Or rather, I shouldn't have trouble NOT eating what I haven't put in the house or brought to work with me! :)

Yesterday, I realized that I had actually made more progress than I thought since the year's beginning. My awesome discontinued wedding dress (the one I bought in February or March) had a 6 or 8 inch gap in the back when I first tried it on in the store. Or should I say, the zipper was 6 or 8 inches from closing. When I tried on my dress a couple weeks before Melody and Ryan's wedding, we could get it zipped without damaging the dress. Granted, I couldn't breathe much, but I've made my point. I feel better now...

So that's why there's another ticker on the blog now. With a little bride walking to her doom, ahem, I mean walking to her goal. I figure I can realistically and with little health risk lose 16 pounds by the wedding. In so doing, the dress would fit like a dream instead of a vise. So there's my short term goal. 0.2 lb down, 15.8 to go!