EVERYTHING SMOOTHIE

I had to have an endometrial biopsy following an ultrasound to confirm my PCOS. Shadows, thickening of the lining, etc... Still haven't got the results on that, but should sometime this week.

Bloodwork results are in, confirming PCOS through insulin levels. Everything else-- and I do mean everything was tested-- is back negative or normal. The prescription is...my old standby, the low carb diet. Plus a diuretic and an upped dosage of metformin.

On this low carb diet, which is a glorified Atkins Maintenance diet or a glorified Weight Watchers Power Foods diet, I'll be having vegetables and fruit in addition to low-fat meats. I already know how this works, and how this plays out, and told the NP this. But she insisted on speaking on and on about the benefits of a low-carb lifestyle. Duh. Got it. Lemme go... Please! :)

We know I won't be eating my veggies or fruit without the proper method of delivery. I'll eat just meat and nothing else, or mess up and end up grabbing something from the restaurant. So I, not being one too keen on eating my veggies and a very busy person of late, dragged out my blender. This will be a green smoothie jumpstart to my weight loss adventure.

I looked up recipes and such, bought a crap ton of healthy stuff, prepped and froze and prepped. Dragged out my new blender. Trucked it all to my tattoo studio. Ignored the recipes for now... Made my first "everything" smoothie.

EVERYTHING SMOOTHIE:

1c Water
1 tsp Ginger
1 tsp Cinnamon
2c Kale
1 Rome apple, cored
1 Granny Smith apple, cored
1 Orange, peeled
2 Bananas, frozen
1c strawberries, frozen
1c blueberries, frozen

Blend it forever, way longer than the couple minutes I did, adding ingredients in that order, until it's super smooth. Mine had some green bits that weren't quite ground, but it has a pleasant taste. Gotta get over your texture issues! :D

Next time, I'll play with another recipe. It was a weird experience, but very filling.

The Next New Thing

SparkPeople.com is a free website that operates like Weight Watchers, generating goals and storing tracking data. I think I like it so far! Today is my test-drive of their program, along with my Simply Filling Power Foods list, real cheeses, real butter and real mayonnaise. 

I had 476 to 826 calories left on my SparkPeople.com plan, and burned 464 calories today! I did a full half hour of aerobics and 15 minutes of crunches and weights. :) And I feel great, so far!

I'm still following my Weight Watchers Points Plus Simply Filling foods list so I don't have to count calories, and letting SparkPeople do the calorie calculations. I don't think I can use all the daily calories they allow to reach their 100lb December goal, but I can edit the amounts once I show some progress. 

I still hold that the WW Simply Filling Plan, South Beach Diet, and Atkins Diet are essentially the same diet, with few exceptions (most involving use of fat and portion control). I own all three book sets for all diets, so they've got their money outta me. I find that some elements from each work very well. As of now, I've abandoned Atkins except for the "pure fats" allowance, except I measure and note serving sizes. The only notable difference between Simply Filling and South Beach is South Beach's 2 week Induction (nearly identical to Atkins' Induction). I'm not doing an Induction at this time, and for the first time in a long time, I'm not aiming for some level of ketosis. I'm tired of the gimmicks and misconceptions for all the diets. This isn't a one-upmanship contest. I'm trying for something sustainable.

Hoping the 1 week weigh-in is encouraging.

Cuddles,

Tamara

P.S. Weight Watchers posted a useful Power Foods list: http://www.weightwatchers.com/images/1033/dynamic/GCMSImages/Food_List.pdf

Insulin Resistant: Gonna lose 106 pounds! Only 99 pounds left to go! :)

I posted this on Reddit after 13 days on low-carb Induction. Reposting here to keep from repeating myself too much:

"F/30/6' | SW: 306.4 | CW: 299.0 | GW: 200

Doc says it's insulin resistance/ prediabetes. He said "I'll prescribe you a pill." I said, "No you won't. I'll do this without meds." He said, "Then lose 100 pounds." I said, "Touche, Doc. Touche."

He also said to get on a low carb diet, which I already expected. I've lost 30 or so pounds with keto before and failed for stupid reasons. But I'm lucky this time: I'm pre-sick, and I'm not officially dying yet. Nothing like a medical reason to keep up the resolve!

The funny thing? I'm on day 13 of Induction and haven't cheated once! No cravings, no desire to eat bad things. I've been dragging my butt out of bed early to cook. I've eaten at restaurants within my limits. I guess the motivation is finally stemming from something beyond vanity. Not being pinned down by medication is great motivation! Not dying is even better!"

Support is pretty strong in the /keto and /loseit forums on Reddit.com. But like any place, there're trolls and douche bags. Haven't sold any of my creative things through Reddit, but I'll continue posting my health progress there. Maybe I'll inspire someone like they're inspiring me!

I bought salmon again! Two weeks in, I'm needing some variety. And 3lb bags of the frozen stuff was BACK at Kroger. Also stocked up on other low-carb things. Did feel a bit claustrophobic in the candy and bread and ice cream aisles, but made it through without a breakdown. I bought a small, already-roasted chicken instead. 

I feel pretty darn good, physically speaking! I'm eating low-carb and about a half or more of the meat I eat is also low fat. I'm incorporating vegetables in everything. I'm drinking nothing but water and "sweet" tea made with Splenda. I'm taking vitamins daily: probiotic, garlic, cinnamon, B complex, an Omega fatty acid combo, and...something else... in addition to my multivitamin. My blood sugar has neither bottomed out nor skyrocketed since my doctor visit. And I'm in ketosis, which was an accident related to my 1 meal with carbs per day the doctor ordered. But I'm rolling with it. As long as I drink plenty of water, I'll be fine. 

I'll be combining low carb AND low fat more strategically once I've finished reading my South Beach Supercharged book. Don't know how that'll work, since Doc told me it was okay (as in-- DO IT!!) to get my carbs from mostly non-starchy veggies. But I can use some principles from the book, I'm sure. Plus, my friend Angela is on South Beach again! So I have a consistent diet-buddy!

Cuddles,

Tamara

Now: Pre-Diabetes!

I'm pre-diabetic, that is to say, I have "Insulin Resistance Syndrome." And Doc says I have 100 pounds to lose, or I'll be Type II Diabetic within a year. So I told him I don't want any of his pre-diabetes meds, and I'm doing this without them. So he told ME to get my butt on a low carb diet (only 1 daily meal with non-veggie carbs) and to do aerobic exercise 3X a week, in addition to daily strength training. And if I don't make big improvements within 5 months, I'd be on the meds. So I told him... ok. I know I've done this dieting thing before, but this time it's scary, with worse consequences. So here I go again, on my own. :D


I've also gained weight. I'm at 306.4-ish pounds, with a BMI of 41. 


Now, whether I can actually swing this dieting thing, I don't know. But I'd rather not be sicker. We'll see.

295.6

295.6 lb. I hit that number today. After my last whine-fest on here, it was clear to me that I wasn't even trying anymore. (Or just discouraged or something. Dunno.) I updated that post and also provide this new one.


Today is Day 1 of the Tamara Coffey "The Scale says WHAT?! If it's not lying, I must be slowly dying!" health improvement venture. Not Atkins, per se. Just cutting out processed sugars and other simple carbs. You will not hear about my daily or weekly progress after Week 2. You will only hear about certain breakthroughs. Promise!

Please encourage the Tama with "Atta-girls" and "You can do its!" Please do NOT feed the Tama! (Unless it is un-breaded meat, non-starchy vegetables, real fats or REALLY dark chocolate! The four food groups, right?)

Cuddles,
Tamara

What's wrong with me???

I neglected this blog for weeks so I could finish my novel and get it published. I have also eaten nothing but fast food and convenience foods since my last post. As a result, I've hit my highest weight in recent history: 287.0 lb. I don't consider myself a food addict. When I'm project-focused, I'm just a convenience addict.

What a waste of all my effort for an entire year! To be this fat again really irks me. It was preventable. Something had to slide to make time for the novel, but not slide THIS MUCH! I could cite reasons and excuses, but I'm not a big fan of either. Besides, they're all based on what I did or didn't do: I was lazy. I was unfocused. I went through the drive-thru rather than cooking at home. I could also blame others, but that's silly: I don't have anyone to support me. I have no one invested in diet and exercise with me, really, consistently. It's silly because health improvement pacts at work are passing whims. Sad, pathetic promises we all sweep under the rug when our fragile willpower caves to a candy-bar. So what if no one I know wants to dedicate themselves to being healthier? They must have better things to do. I'll not blame them for my failure.

The gloves are off. I'm done. I'm killing myself with food. This is suicide. I either need to stop and get healthier, or give up and die my early death with a plate piled high with junk-food and medications to counteract that junk-food's effect on my bloated, miserable body.

You know what works? Effort. Honest-to-goodness effort to make something happen. Don't pray to win the lottery if you're not willing to buy a ticket. So when I've put in effort, when I've made actual progress, I'll post again. Until then, I won't waste your time with my failures.

UPDATE: What a whiny, emo spiel! Let's see... Translation: "I got lazy and unmotivated. I acknowledge I am on my own and must improve my health. I'll try harder, putting my effort into worthy pursuits, and only update following my next breakthrough." There. Less annoying! LOL

Cuddles,
Tamara

Week 8: The Carb Trap 2

As I mentioned in my last post, I've fallen into the carb trap this week. And as I predicted, I DID gain back all the water weight from week 7. And as I assumed, I've taken a morale hit from said weight gain. AND as I know myself, this will not be the last time I mess up a diet. I mean a lifelong eating adjustment. But I'm trying diligently to climb back up in the saddle and ride off on the dusty, lonely trail of dieting in the household of a skinny hubby.

Weight last week: 271.8 (ish)

Weight this week: 279.8

GAIN of 8 lb. 

I feel like the Stay-Puft Marshmallow Man today. That is all! :)

Cuddles,

Tamara

The Carb Trap

I was wondering why it usually takes me a month to get in the habit of consistently staying in ketosis. My first week of Atkins was perfect... no major screw ups and a moderate testing for ketones. This week, I've had three off days (but only the three evening meals across those three days) and I'm completely negative for ketones. I shudder to think what the scale will tell me. I've probably loaded back on all that crazy water weight from last week. 

So, as usual, I'm back at square one today. I hate this pattern, especially since Atkins is stupidly easy to follow, if a little challenging in the variety department. I may not get back to last week's weight by the Tuesday weigh in, but I'm going to try hard to eliminate carbs. I don't really think it's much of a let down, considering I've struggled with staying on every eating plan I've adopted. But this is the one diet where I know I feel better. I know I can succeed. I've proven success. And I just let my willpower whistle and look away as I sabotage it.

I've told Brandon I'm not having dinner with him (when I get off work and he's on lunch) unless we choose a place I can eat Atkins-friendly. Not many choices in this town, but better than NO choices. 

Since this isn't a diet as much as a lifelong-lifestyle-changing-eating-plan, I know it takes an adjustment. And if I can make it past the two weeks of Induction, it's smooth sailing from there on out (barring the inevitable, occasional plateau). So here I go again on my own. Going down the only road I've ever known... :D

Cuddles,

Tamara

PROGRESS: Week 7, Hello Ketosis!

The Franken-Diet is what I call the Frankenstein's monster of diet parts and pieces that work for me. 

Now I'm in the low carb stage of the Franken-Diet. Ketones are the byproducts released as the body burns primarily fat instead of carbohydrates. The ketones are purged through urine, saliva, and probably through every other gland. Testing high for ketosis is bad if you're not trying to make it happen through dieting. But I'm trying...

I'm testing Moderate for ketosis, finally. For the first week or two of low-carb eating (via Atkins Induction), I purge water weight rapidly, due to the diuretic effect of ketosis. After that, weight loss slows to a normal, "healthy" rate as I increase my carb intake by measured increments. This initial stage of the diet fools the body into thinking it's starving (no/low carbs= starving) even though you're cramming food into it (mostly protein). As a results, hunger is suppressed. Blood sugar is incredibly stable. My stomach is nice and calm. The food is rich and satisfying. The cravings and food addictions subside. And your body is forced to mobilize fat because you're not giving it any carbs!

Go to the official Atkins site for more information: http://www.atkins.com/Program/Phase-1.aspx . 

Weight 2 Weeks Ago: 277.2

Weight 1 Week Ago: 280 (From the "Crap, I didn't lose weight because I didn't focus" files!)

Weight This Week: 271.8

8.2 Pounds Lost!

Now, don't get me wrong. I'm not suggesting a wonder diet. The science behind low-carb is sound. I also eat more naturally on this diet than any other. (Seriously-- God may have made sugar, but He only facilitated the production of Twinkies with that creation...) This is only a "diet" if you have no intention of changing your habits for the long term. The Lifetime Maintenance on Atkins is full of vegetables, occasional fruit, and some dairy. And regardless of the avoidable minor inconveniences, I'm going on how I feel, which is awesome!

Good Things That I Ate:

1. Breakfast: Eggs with Bacon Pieces. A bit of Mexene Chili Powder (my favorite egg-topper!)

2. Lunch: Lean Hamburgers with Mayo and Ketchup

3. Alternate Lunch: Chicken Salad (made with canned chicken breast, dill relish and mayo)

4. Dinners: 20 Carb Avocado Salad, Plain Salad with Ranch (bleh!), 20 Carb Taco Salad, McD's side salad with 2 Chicken Grill Patties and Ranch, 

20 Carb Taco Salad

Easy Recipe: Prepare taco meat using lean ground beef (or what-have-you) and serve with fresh spinach, chopped onions, sour cream, a drizzle of taco sauce, and a sprinkle of Parmesan cheese!

20 Carb Guacamole Salad

Easy Recipe 2: Prepare guacamole by mashing a ripe avocado and either 1) adding lime juice, cilantro, onion powder and garlic powder OR 2) using half a pack of prepared guac seasoning (has more carbs). Then serve over spinach with sour cream (didn't like this in the salad), bacon pieces, Parmesan cheese and some pepperoni slices.

Low Carb Snacks:

1. Mac's BBQ Pork Rinds (like no other! *sigh*)

2. Portioned beef jerky

3. Cream cheese (sometimes WITH the pork rinds. Don't knock it til you tried it!)

4. An occasional spoonful of peanut butter (I think I had one all week)

Here Are Some Things I Did:

1. Saved almost all of my allotted carbohydrates (20g/day) for dinner. I will continue to do this because if I veer off the all-protein path during the day, I'll screw up at night. It feels like splurging when I wait! And for each of these "splurge" dinners, I ate a SALAD!

2. Measured and counted everything with carbs! Grippo's Powder is now on my list of no-nos. It has 4 carbs in just one teaspoon. So I made a couple mistakes early in the week. 

3. I had an avocado a day for over half the week. 15 carbs, well worth the scrounging and saving of carb grams. Oh, and something about Omega something-something good for me...

4. Did at least one full day of burnout sessions with the exercise bands at work. I did a different routine between each call until I was a tired little puddle. I spent about 5 hours (minus call time) playing with those rubber bands, not realizing how sore I would be today! I shall call it Chair-Fu Calisthenics and Rubber-Band Boxing!

And I'm trying to do more of the same for this upcoming week! I just realized I can make my baked salmon and avocado recipe! Mmmmmmm....

Cuddles,

Tamara

Week 6: The Punchline

This week, four overall statements can be made.

1. Between restaurant food, visiting, snacking, and stress, I only ate Power Foods for about a third of each day.

2. My featured dieter Donna did pretty dang good this week, with only a couple oopsies along the way. :)

3. I did not lose weight this week.

4. I'm feeling the wooziness of some blood-glucose issue, which I intend to remedy with Atkins Induction.

I grocery shopped yesterday, tired of the slim pickins at the house that were anything but slimming. And as I shopped, I gravitated toward Atkins-friendly food. I know I said I'd transition over to a pseudo-Atkins diet in time, but I'm trying it a month or so earlier than I planned. The Franken-Diet twist is that I'll have lean beef, chicken, fish, and eggs with pure fats (lean meat instead of ANY meat I want). I bought some salad things and avocados for veggies, and some low-carb snacks (pork rinds and jerky) which I already portioned out into serving sizes. I'll have eggs for breakfast, snacks at work, a hamburger or chicken salad for lunch, a salad with avocado and pepperoni for dinner. I used my buddy Ryan's grill-n-freeze method for fresh tasting hamburgers without having to make 'em each day. I'm counting portions and carbs, and only eating when I'm hungry. I'll be keeping my daily carb count at 20g or below and testing for ketosis at the end of the week. Ketosis has been my Achilles' heel. If I can get in, I'll be fine. I'm sure I was just screwin' up the last time I tried this version of the Franken-Diet.

The real challenge of any low-carb diet is the first two weeks, when the rules are more stringent. Other than very limited food options (a plus for lazy me!), you've got the carb and caffeine withdrawal. And you've got the higher cost of so-called "real" food that is eaten in larger quantities.

So this week's diet felt more like a bad joke. The punchline? Feeling sick AND disgusted with myself are surefire ways to make me go low-carb. :) (Oh, come on. The punchline to a bad joke isn't SUPPOSED to be funny!)

Cuddles,
Tamara

PROGRESS: Week 5

Holiday damages aside, I honestly didn't get focused well enough to do the diet all that well this week. Candies finally dwindled to nothing. Other junk foods did the same. Restaurant food was eaten once or twice. Hot chocolate sustained me during my cold (which is also dwindling, but still present). Hot Chicken and Pasta sustained me at lunch. And sometimes at dinner. I even had a couple caffeine-free regular Pepsis. So I expected my weight to go up, not down. I did the weigh-over I usually reserve for when I think I should weigh LESS! :) And the third weigh-over of relative confusion...

Weight Last Week: 279.4
Weight This Week: 277.2

That's 2.2 pounds lost. I'll take it, and actually update the ticker so it'll be accurate.

Good Things I Ate This Week:

1. Chicken and Pasta
2. Baked potatoes with fat free sour cream

Here Are Some Things I Did:

1. Prepared the soup ahead of time
2. Baked stuffed peppers last night
3. Dutifully ate oatmeal, cinnamon and Sweet N Low for breakfast this morning
4. Otherwise, not much!

Things I Plan To Change This Week:

1. Decided that oatmeal is kinda unappetizing to me. Will probably eat some type of protein for breakfast instead.
2. WW Simply Filling is the focus of this week. I can't cheat if I don't have the food in the house to do so.

UPDATE: I entered my original weight of 300lb to be more accurate with total weight lost (not just weight lost since the blog started). And I entered my current weight for today. And I didn't cry. But here's the chart:



WHERE I'M HEADING WITH THIS:

I want to stick with Simply Filling for a month and see how much progress I make versus days on and days off. I then want to transition to an Atkins-style WW diet, incorporating my Simply Filling food list only and eating lean proteins and vegetables until I'm close to my goal weight. (Incorporation of several diets, hence "Franken-Diet") Then I want to transition again into a lifelong healthy eating habit as I shed the last few pounds. I expect my food list at that time to be the WW Simply Filling list I compiled, with perhaps pure fats and cheeses in moderation instead of unlimited fat free. That way, I'm eating mostly all natural foods that I could grow or produce on a farm. :)

I don't know how long this is going to take. I've piddled with it for a year, never really locking in a routine, even when the routine worked in the short term. So I'm going to say that in 5 months of diligence, I should be close. I'll gauge it again in a month. I don't want to wait another year to finish my health overhaul!

Cuddles,

Tamara

HOLIDAY DAMAGES: Week 4

A little late on this week's post. Today, I woke up with a cold, and feel bad, so you get the short, short version.

I weigh 279.4 today. Up about 6 pounds. Probably half water-weight, half new lard. :)

I ate sooo many good things that were bad for me. So many chocolate and peanut butter candies of different types! I did eat in moderation until the three day span of Christmas Eve, Day, and Day after, when I ate, ummm, heartily. The eating tapered off in the days hence, as the leftovers ran out.

Sick of junk food and holiday food. Making Power Foods meals for the rest of the week and beyond.

And here I am, eating chicken noodle soup. Sore throat. Runny nose. Lost voice. Hoping to feel like making some feel-good chicken and noodles later, as well as some salsa chicken with refried beans, rice and sour cream.

Cuddles,

Tamara

RECIPES: Venison

Now I should say I'm not a big fan of venison. The taste of wild deer, even when cooked "right" isn't my favorite thing. And I've eaten this critter in several forms-- jerky, steak, burger, AND stir fry. But it is very lean, therefore good for you, and if you disguise it just right... :D If you're brave, try my simple, very similar recipes and let me know how it goes! Don't worry. Bambi will forgive you!

VENISON BURGERS WITH PEPPERS AND ONIONS:

Skilleted!

4 Venison burgers (buy the meat, or get some FRESH from your father-in-law's recent kill!)
1/2 Green pepper, sliced
1/2 Sweet onion, sliced
Seasoning of choice (I chose Grippo's powder!)

Drain the burgers (lean meat = blood. Just sayin'!). Cook in skillet on low-medium heat until halfway cooked. (Just a few minutes, but I'm no expert!) Flip burgers. Dump in veggies among the cooked, ah, fat and juices (*grins awkwardly talking about blood again*). Stir fry veggies in and around the meat until onions gain some transparency. :) Turn up the heat. Flip the burgers. Liberally season one side and flip. Season remaining side and season vegetables. Flip burger. (Searing the sides a bit, to avoid the "boiled hamburger in the lunchline" look!) Move burgers to outside of pan to continue cooking. (I'd rather overcook a venison burger than under-cook it. Because it's ground meat, it doesn't become shoe leather like a steak!) Stir fry vegetables in center of pan until tender. Serve immediately. Tastes like... venison.

Plated!

NOTE: Venison has a distinctive smell when you add heat. It's the "game-y" smell that only goes away with the addition of onions and peppers, in my experience. My hubby says that onion "draws the wild out of it." I think you're covering it up with another smell, and they're cancelling each other out. Almost as soon as the onions heat up, the smell will dissipate.

VENISON STIR-FRY

4 small venison steaks, cut into thin strips

1/2 Green pepper, sliced
1/2 Sweet onion, sliced
Teriyaki sauce
Soy sauce
Sesame oil
Rice wine vinegar
Sesame seeds
Prepared brown rice, optional

Rinse meat in water. Drain. Heat sesame oil in wok or skillet. Add venison and stir fry on medium-high heat. Add vegetables and stir fry until onions gain some translucency. Lower heat to medium. Add equal parts teriyaki and soy sauce to skillet (enough to thoroughly coat venison and vegetables, but not until there's standing liquid in the pan!). Stir until coated. Add a splash of vinegar to help deglaze the pan. Stir over medium heat until sauce thickens. It will incorporate with pan drippings to make a yummy thing! Sprinkle some sesame seeds over the whole thing. Serve over brown rice!

NOTE: Don't have a pic yet. But I like this recipe because you can insert your meat of choice and it'll turn out great! I usually make chicken this way, and have made pork and beef as well.

Cuddles,

Tamara

PROGRESS: Week 3, 100th Post!

Today I celebrate my 100th post with some positive progress and a little story about The Scale and I! Considering this is the week before Christmas and I've been making candy like crazy-- and only sampling tiny amounts-- it's a miracle I've gotten anywhere with it! But the period of time I'm calling "damage control" has yielded results:

Weight Last Week: 275.2
Weight This Week: 273.4

That's a difference of 1.8 pounds! With eating some of the candies for the babies of the peoples!

Good things I ate this week:

1. More turkey thin-bread sandwiches for lunch. Now I'm out of the bread, so I won't buy more.

2. Baked salmon for lunch once, breakfast a couple or three times. (Because the stink of it heating up for lunch that one time may have killed a few coworkers! :D So I made different lunches to replace those.) Pure protein goodness!

3. Power Foods Texas Hash from my recipes. With refried beans and melted Pepperjack cheese.

4. Stuffed peppers: cleared out my stock of frozen peppers so I didn't have to cook. Now will have to cook!

5. String cheese as snacks at work

6. A couple days of oatmeal with Sweet N Low and cinnamon. Meh. :)

Here are some things I did:


1. Avoided added salt.

2. Cooked Texas Hash and Salmon in advance.

3. Made sandwiches fresh each morning.

4. Measured portions for almost everything!

5. Snacked on candies in EXTREME moderation!

6. Kept busy with work or cleaning or creative pursuits. No time to idly eat!

Here are some things I plan to change this week:


1. Eat Christmas food on the day before, day of and day after, but not beyond. (No infinite leftovers!)

2. Pay more attention to the "full" feeling. Cut regular portion sizes accordingly.

3. A few rounds with an exercise video or two. Helps with health AND stress!

THE SCALE AND I-- TAMA SAYS:

Back in the day, in fifth grade, the teacher did weigh-ins in front of class. Not officially public, but may as well have been. My number (on the first digital scale I ever remember seeing) was 188. I looked at her and her assistant. They looked at me. Some kids snickered. Forget the fact that I was the tallest, strongest kid in class, an Amazon in comparison to the little boys. That was the first time I saw my weight as a health problem.

Sure, I got picked on before that day for being the poor kid, the smart kid, the shy kid, the tall kid AND the fat kid in class. But Mamaw always told me, "It's just baby fat. You'll grow up and it'll all be gone." In almost the same breath she'd comment on how so-and-so was "as big as you are, Tamara!" or "even bigger than you!" (A practice she continued-- among other unsavory ones-- until I just vacated her presence a couple years ago. Permanently. With little regret. And only the briefest meetings since.)

Regardless of the other things she said which I knew were instigating crap, I was gullible. I believed that bit about baby fat until I saw 188 on the scale. Then the struggle started. But when you're not paying the bills, you eat what you're given, which was sufficient. I hit a growth spurt after this, too. I outgrew my long hair, which "shrank" from my hips up to my bra strap. Big Macs went on sale around that time. I'd eat two in a sitting, with fries and a shake. I can't do that now! But I was literally a growing young girl.

By eight grade, I was fatter, but the weight was stretched out on a longer frame (I ended up at 6ft eventually). After a few diets-- the Grapefruit diet (blech!) and Atkins, to name a couple-- I was still overweight. Going into high school, I weighed 212 pounds. Going into college, I weighed 223-ish. (I didn't gain the Freshman 15 because I walked everywhere. I may have lost weight...) Coming out of 5 years on my butt in customer service, I weighed 275. And coming out of my one and only year of full time teaching, during which I was sick for most of it, I weighed 300 pounds. And by the time I started this blog... ummm Monday, December 27, 2010, to be exact... I was fully unemployed for the first time in my adult life and down to 291 lb. And I was finally ready to take control of at least one area of my crumbly future: my weight!

I get different comments now when people ask my weight. "You don't look like you weigh that much." "You carry it well." I don't mind these as much. And if people know you're on a diet, they'll comment on how much weight you've lost. :) Even when you haven't. It's an attempt at encouragement that I would never discourage. Most people KNOW how hard it is to lose weight.

I can't see a weight change yet. Even in ten pounds, I may not notice. But I finally remembered why owning a digital scale made me feel a grain of hesitation, why it was so ingrained in me to buy one. A digital scale is where it all started-- the downfall and the climb back up. The number 188. I think I'll set that as Major Goal Number 2 when I knock off this 100 pounds. If I do that, I'll have come full circle. :)

End of Week 9: WW Simply Filling

I had a Weight Watchers-unfriendly breakfast of epic homemade-gravy-biscuit-bacon proportions in celebration of my 275 lb weigh in. Three pounds up, and I know it was the half-hearted dieting attempt of this past week. So today, I am eating the delicious breakfast of shame. Now I'm out of White Lily flour, and with no reason to buy more, I can start the Simply Filling option of Weight Watchers that I discussed in my supplemental log.

As over-full of heavy food as I am right now, I think that it'll be refreshing to eat simply next week. I'll still keep my food journal, and I'll count points for my non-Power Foods. I may even count points daily of the food I eat, to see how the restrictions impact my daily points intake. I'm sure I can eat until I'm satisfied on fruits, vegetables, lean protein, and fat-free dairy and take in less than 50-100 carbs per day and stay under 29 daily points total. (I'm suspicious that, by design, this reminds me of Atkins Lifetime Maintenance. But as I said before, effective is effective, no matter the name!)

Plus, I've got 5 days worth of lunch-at-work meals left that consist of baked chicken breast and roasted broccoli & onions. And I'm prepped to make more, maybe even throw in some baked Cajun salmon and pork tenderloin stir fry next time I cook.

I'm planning on eggs for breakfast for the protein, a fruit and some applesauce plus the baked chicken lunch at work, and probably some type of veggies and protein for late-dinner. I may have to finish off the Kashi GoLean cereal in early morning, have a light fried egg "lunch", eat at work, and skip the late-dinner (since I often work until 10pm or later). It's bad to eat late at night, anyway. I think it's just compulsive to eat "dinner" when one gets home from work.

Also, I hate yogurt. No gettin' around it. I tried the healthy options. It's a textural thing. And a taste thing. And a cultured-milk-product thing. And my stomach has the what-the-heck reaction it often reserves for Mexican and Chinese entrees. I'd rather take a horse-pill probiotic than eat that crap.

I went through my book and listed the Power Foods I'd most likely eat, leaving out the rest. And what I came up with was a pretty extensive list of readily-available things I can buy locally or order at the Japanese place. (Mmmmm... white tuna sashimi!) And if I commit to the simplicity of my meal plan, leaning on stir fry, baking, and the like, I'll still have a huge number of meal combinations I can do. Likely, I'll have a "meat and vegetable combo of the week" and make enough food to last 7 meals. I'm okay with that. My "variety" is probably eventual, and much different from your "variety"! :)

Here's the list. I can eat all of these things:

1. LEAN PROTEIN:
1. Egg
2. Beef, trimmed or lean
3. Chicken breast
4. Pintos
5. Wild-caught Salmon
6. Tuna, canned or steak
7. Lean Ham
8. Pork
9. Imitation crab
10. Scallops
11. Turkey
12. Venison
13. Sashimi: no Mackerel or Salmon
2. NON-FAT DAIRY:
1. Fat-free cheese
2. Fat-free sour cream
3. Fat-free milk
3. ALL FRUIT:
1. Apples
2. Applesauce, unsweetened
3. Watermelon
4. Banana
4. VEGGIES:
1. Green beans
2. Broccoli
3. Carrots
4. Celery
5. Cucumber
6. Hominy
7. Lettuce
8. Mushrooms
9. Onion
10. Peppers
11. Tomatoes and tomato pastes/purees/canned
12. Zucchini
5. GRAINS:
1. Oatmeal
2. Brown rice
3. Whole wheat pasta

NOT POWER FOODS 49 weekly points allocated for: Kashi GoLean cereal, Avocados, Dressings & Condiments, including Mayo, Puddin’ and Chocolatey things, Grippos, Prepared Foods, Most Fast-food. Use Points daily or save for special meal!

Tama's-Log, Supplemental: Things I Learned

Apparently, unsweetened applesauce is zero points. My kiddie applesauce ingredient list is "Apples, Apple Juice" or "Apples, Cinnamon". No refined sugar in there! Therefore, my applesauce now falls in the zero points category with bananas. :)

Also, I read up on the Simply Filling option for Weight Watchers Points Plus. This option limits my food options considerably to 1. Fat-free dairy, 2. Lean Protein, and 3. Fruits and Veggies, plus low-fat whole wheat bread, the latter of which doesn't interest me. For any foods not in this category, I would deduct those point values from my weekly overage allowance of 49 points.

The concept is that, other than the vitamins and minerals crap, all the lean protein stabilizes your blood glucose, keeping you full longer, and the other stuff is filling and provides fiber, which, uh, does what fiber does. :D And you eventually eat less and less because you stop when you're full, so your smaller body will need less and less.

Sounds a lot like South Beach Diet or Atkins' Lifetime Maintenance to me, which is fine. A healthier lifestyle by any name is still a healthier lifestyle. With the exception of my Kashi Go Lean (not a Power Food), when I'm not screwin' up, I'm pretty much only eating Power Foods anyway. So maybe I'm complicating a simple concept. If the only points I have to count are Kashi GoLean, and the occasional Ranch dressing, I may switch my plan and just do Simply Filling.

I may try it next week to gauge my likelihood of success. :)

Also, my next weight-loss mini goal is 13lb, 5% down from 272 lb. 72 pounds just looked a little large to me, so I'm breakin' it down for now. That means my weigh-in goal is 259 lb. I can't really remember the last time I was in the 250 range, so this is an exciting checkpoint to attempt. I'd like to reach this one before my wedding on 11-11-11, a little under two months from now.

Opinions are appreciated!

Cuddles,

Tamara

End of Week 8: A Wedding and A Pseudo-Stall

The bridesmaid dress fit and looked much better than I expected. I felt more confident in the thing, even though I contended with the arm blubber. Thanks to a weekend of wedding-based food excess, I've fluctuated between 272lb and 275lb. My body just hasn't resettled yet. And my body is protesting. 

My guilty admission is that from Friday evening through tonight, I haven't counted WW Points. I was busy and had convenient fast food, reception food, and cupcakes. Also some Grippos. So therein lies the oopsie. But helping my friends get ready for their wedding was worth it!  

For the past few weeks, I've held strong to my whole milk is better than fat-free milk theory. If I had to have milk with my cereal, it might as well be "red cap" milk. Well, that's all fine and peachy, but fat-free milk uses half the points of regular milk. And milk is just a vehicle for cereal anyway...

So this week's change is to use only fat-free milk with my daily cereal. It takes my cereal points from 7 down to 5. This may not seem like much, but a couple points can make or break my day since I'm only officially doing 29 points per day. Fat-free milk is also a WW "Power Food," so it's on the "Atta good girl" list, which is mostly comprised of lean meat, veggies, fruit and low-fat dairy. (Sounds like a diet I know...)

I did okay a week ago on "ballpark" figures for weight loss, meaning I didn't worry if I went over the 29 points a few points here and there. (I originally had 47 points to play with.) Well, that got out of hand often enough for me to rein-in my points more starting tomorrow. I'm not whining about individual foods, or my own personal weakness. I just lost reason and logic with what constituted "a few points." I'm challenging myself to stay within the 29 point limit, one tedious day at a time, until it's second nature to me and I see results. Just a warning... I may do a blog that just says "Yay, I did it today!"

Over the next couple of weeks, I'm phasing out processed sugar and starch, starting with my fat-free puddings. I'm working toward eating "real" foods, if not whole then pretty darn close. :) I'm sure I can find a suitable fruit or vegetable to replace them as a daily snack. But right now they're a chocolate fix that keeps me out of Brandon's brownie stash.

Avoiding white bread and potatoes is like second nature after developing the Atkins mindset. And the cereal I'm eating is whole-grain and high-protein. So I'll keep that for now and reevaluate my decision once I run out. Avoiding sugar is simple if I simply don't purchase it. (I will just avoid opening "Brandon's side" of the cabinet!) 

But first things first... Tomorrow's my day off. Looks like some Kashi with fat-free milk, dishwashing, and yard work are in my immediate future! Well, SLEEP is in my immediate future, and my not-too-distant future involves those other things. :D

Mid-Week 4: Ketosis Fizzle

I've been pretty Atkins-strict for a week until yesterday. I ate a Brandon's-Momma meal of mostly carbs, but expected my ketosis to carry me through to the next day, when I jumped back on the strictness again. This is how it has worked before for me. You eat bad foods on Atkins, you have serious temporary, ah, consequences for tipping a very fragile balance. :)

I even weighed in yesterday morning a few days early and have lost another pound! I'm at 175 now! If yesterday didn't hurt me a lot. (No scales til next week!) So the letdown of the day is that I tested for ketosis, which I was pretty sure would be super-obviously-chuggin'-along after a week. But I got nothing. Nada. Zilch. And other words that mean the same.

A negative for ketosis after a week of Atkins means the strips aren't workin', or more probably that I'm doing something wrong. Barring faulty testing strips or hormonal barriers, I should be in ketosis. At almost thirty, my physiology may be changing. I may not be calculating my carbs right. I don't count just net carbs, I count ALL carbs. And I may just be eating too many calories, which I've never experienced on Atkins. But I coulda messed up. Dunno. Don't really care about my body's excuse. Gonna try harder.

So I'm just going to grind to a halt-- like my metabolism-- and do a reboot today. I revised my charts and will dive right in again. This is what I'm going to change to get into ketosis. Seems simple enough:

1. Control Portions
2. Measure ALL Carbs
3. Cut out Deli
4. Strength and Cardio EVERY DAY
5. Eat mostly MEAT, EGGS
6. VERY few veggies

Here's my new chart, with things I can eat, water and exercise tickers, and a place to count carbs:

MEAL	M8/8/11	T8/9/11	W8/10/11	H8/11/11	F8/12/11	S8/13/11	S8/14/11
Egg
Chicken
Tuna
Deli
Beef
Broth
Pork
Carbs
Water
Cardio
Strength

So there it is. An oops of a week. I was trying, and somehow sorta losing weight. Hopefully this will get me into ketosis so that I can jumpstart my weight loss. I'll let you know how it goes.

NOTE: A quarter of my goal weight loss since January is pretty good, no? But I can't dwell on past tiny victories with the big victory looming another 75 pounds down the road. I said no bull crap, right? Well, now I've got the anger to back up the focus. Stupid body, not doin' what it is told!

End of Week 2: Franken-Fast!

Well, I wouldn't call it very much a "fast" this week. I had three or four really naughty eating days. Like going shopping with Ryan and Melody naughty, and just HAVIN' to stop at Taco Bell and IHOP. And it was downhill after that. But I did get most of my wedding-decor shopping finished, so I can't complain.

The funny thing is, I didn't lose weight this week. I actually gained a pound. Scientifically, I realize that my exercise has the illusory effect of weight gain because I'm building muscle while still burning fat. Stupid exercise, makin' it seem like I am still just as fat! But here's the exciting part: my measurements all went down by 1 inch or more!

After mostly crappy eating habits the last part of the week, my yard-work and mowing paid off a bit. Numerically speaking, I'm unhappy about not losing poundage. I know that I would have if I stuck to the diet more closely. But I'll count the week a success in measurements alone!

The success is worth a Week Three, I think. I'll tell you all about it then. (Whatever you do, Self, don't go a-visitin' where there's food!)

STATS:

BMI: 38 (Ugh! Obese... duh. But two points away from morbidly obese. Scary!)
WEIGHT: 280

End of Week 1: Franken-Fast!

I lost 5 pounds this week! I also lost up to an inch or more off each of my measurements. So far, this regimen is working for me. I've forced myself to do a daily food diary without all the writing. If I deviate from the plan, I just write what I ate in as many boxes as necessary to make up the calorie "cost." I keep my calorie counts and details for each entry posted above this grid on my fridge:

It's a little blurry, but you can see what I'm talking about. I didn't begrudge myself an extra egg or crackers with the tuna salad, or extra deli meat to go with my green salad. I made Mexican chicken with salsa and cheese, plus some refried beans. I made teriyaki chicken with white rice. I ate chicken parmesan with spaghetti yesterday, and still lost weight. :) And I had a rough day the day before that, using up almost all my calories on chocolate and BBQ Grippos. But I'm officially at 279 now, and apparently dropping. :-D

And this is my Activity Log:

Last week, I only exercised twice: once when I lifted weights, and again when I played Tae Bo. I increased my water intake. And we're not going to discuss the sick faces on the 13th, suffice it to say that I didn't take vitamins last week.

I'm going to aim for more exercise this week, as well as work on increasing my water intake. I replaced my iceberg lettuce salad with all-baby-spinach salads for this week. And I often skip the soup and broth, using it just for when I'm hungry or in replacement calories.

I feel okay. Since I didn't eat strictly from my list of foods, and had a lot of substitutions, ketosis didn't kick in. I felt hungry, which is normal for the whole weight loss thing. But because I was eating so often, I didn't starve myself out. And my "menu" has a lot of room for combining ingredients. So even though my choices seem rather restricted, I had some wiggle room.

Hoping I can see similar progress this week! :)